


Keeping Secrets

by Pleasure_And_Pain



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: AU, Angst, Depression, Eating Disorders, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, graphic m/m, may be triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:31:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pleasure_And_Pain/pseuds/Pleasure_And_Pain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TommyJoe is in a bad relationship and feels the only way out is to end his life. Isaac and Sutan try to help him, but the only person that can really save him is Adam. But can Adam get to him in time, save him and show him the way love is really supposed to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> They aren’t band mates, just friends. GNT never happened. Tommy has no family to turn to other than his friends. Neither Tommy or Adam have any tattoos but will they will get them at some point. I want to make this a work for my dear friend, Roxxanne... Hope you enjoy this, luv...

Tommy wasn’t expecting the slap across the face but instantly knew he should’ve. It was a multiple time a week occurrence anymore. “How stupid are you? I told you that I wanted the laundry picked up today. Now why in the fucking hell wasn’t it?” John screamed, grabbing Tommy by the back of his hair and threw him to the floor. Tommy tried to roll into the tightest ball that he could so that he could avoid the kick to the stomach he was sure he was about to receive. But he was wrong. John moved behind him, aimed for the small of his back and kicked him three times hard before he spit on him. “I’m going out for an hour. During that time... I want you to pack everything that you can - NOTHING THAT I EVER GAVE YOU - and be out of here. The next time I see you again... I WILL kill you. Do you understand me?” John kicked him one last time and headed out the door. Tommy laid still as he could, tears running down his face. He knew he didn’t have long before John would be back. Screaming out in pain as he got to his knees, trying to crawl to the phone. The pain was so bad that he could barely see the numbers but blinking back the pain, he dialed Isaac’s number. “Hello?” Isaac answered the phone, sounding out of breath. “I need you. Please. I have less than an hour. Come help me. I’ll do what I can.” Tommy whimpered out, hoping that Isaac could make sense of his words. “Tommy, what’s wrong? Where are you?” Tommy couldn’t stop the cry of pain that came out as he used the table to pull himself to his feet. “Home. Just please.” Tommy hung up the phone, knowing he had to pack some things. He used the wall and furniture for support as he made his way to the bedroom. He grabbed his suitcase out of the closet and began to just toss his favorite clothes into it and some underwear and socks. Grabbing an over the shoulder bag, he tossed his shoes into it and zipped it closed. He heard Isaac pull up to the house and knew that he would be able to grab the last few things that Tommy wanted to take with him. “Tommy? Tommy, where are you?” Tommy took a deep breath. “In the bedroom. I need help getting the last few things.” Tommy could hear Isaac running towards the bedroom and rested against the bed, making sure to keep pressure off his back. “Oh, fuck, Tommy. What the fuck did he do to you?” Tommy shook his head. “I don’t have time to tell you right now. Please, just get my makeup, my two hoodies, my old leather jacket and my guitars. Leave everything else. Let’s get them and these bags and get out of here before he gets home. If I’m here when he gets back, this time he really will kill me. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes when he said it to me.” Isaac shook his head and knelt down next to Tommy. “Alright, but you really need to tell me everything that happened once I get you out of here. Let’s start with you.” Tommy shook his head and pointed to his bags. “Get everything I told you out and this stuff. Then you come back for me.” Isaac groaned. “I really should get you out first. We don’t know how long till he gets back.” Tommy stood up, letting out a loud moan. “Please, Isaac. Just do it the way I said. Plus I need time before I will be able to make it to the car. I’m worried I won’t be able to make it down the stairs.” Isaac sighed knowing that there was no point in fighting with Tommy. Right now Tommy needed him. “Alright. You just relax and I’ll get everything out. Then I’m going to take you to Sutan’s. John knows where I live, so it wouldn’t be safe to bring you home with me.” Tommy just nodded and laid down on the bed, tears falling from his eyes as the pain shot through his back. He carefully rolled onto his side to relieve some of the pain and closed his eyes, drifting off slightly. “Tommy?” Isaac whispered, laying a soft hand on his shoulder. Tommy jumped, wincing and crying out in pain. “Oh, Tommy... I’m so sorry. I just wanted to let you know that the car is packed and I was ready to bring you out.” Tommy sat up, wincing and whimpering. “Can I ask you for one more favor?” Isaac nodded. “Of course. What is it?” Tommy pointed to the bathroom. “John has about three bottles of heavy painkillers. Could you go grab all of them? I don’t know how much I’m going to have to take or for how long with what he did to me.” Isaac looked at him skeptically. “Maybe I should take you to the hospital. That might be best.” Tommy shook his head and pointed to the bathroom again. “NO HOSPITALS! Please.” Isaac nodded and went into the bathroom. He grabbed a small hand towel and dumped the bottles into it and tied the towel up the best he could to keep them all in there. When he got back into the bedroom, Tommy was already standing up and leaning against the door frame. “Do you think you can make it to the car yourself or do you need me to hold you up?” Tommy gave Isaac a small smile. “I’ll try my best. But I think I may need to lean on you when it comes to the stairs.” Isaac returned the smile and walked over to Tommy. They walked next to each other, Isaac ready to grab Tommy and help him if he needed it. They made it outside before Tommy needed to stop to catch his breath. Isaac noticed that Tommy had suddenly gotten really pale. “Are you okay?” Tommy nodded and took a deep breath. “Let’s just get to the car. It’s gonna be a bitch to sit down but I have to get out of here.” Isaac nodded and held out his arm for Tommy to hold on to. Tommy took his arm with one hand and held the railing with the other hand. It was only five stairs but to Tommy, it felt like it was fifty. He still kept his grip on Isaac’s arm till they got to the car. “I need my arm back so I can get you into the car.” Isaac joked. Tommy let go and rested his hands on the car, taking a few deep breaths. He kept glancing out of the corner of his eye, keeping his eye on the car that he could see hidden partially behind the dumpster. Isaac got the door open and turned towards Tommy. “Here you go. Think you can get in alright or do you need me to brace you?” Tommy shook his head and moved towards the open door. “I think I can make it in myself. Just be there in case I do need help.” Isaac laughed and rested a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “You know that I am always here for you. Now, in you go.” Tommy took a deep breath and slowly eased himself into the car. The pain that shot though his body caused his vision to white out and it took everything in him to not let out a scream. Once he got settled in, Isaac carefully closed the door, so as not to jar Tommy and cause him more pain than he was already in. As Isaac got into to the car and started it, Tommy spoke up. “Don’t go right to Sutan’s. There is a car behind the dumpster. I think it might be John. I couldn’t see the car fully but its black like his.” Isaac glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw the car that Tommy was talking about. “Alright. Take a few of the painkillers and we can drive around a bit and see if it follows us. If it does, we go to the police. No questions.” Tommy nodded and opened up the towel. Looking at the bottle, it said to take one to two for pain every four hours, but with the pain that he was in, he popped four into his mouth and grabbed the bottle of water that was in the cup holder. “Whoa, dude, c’mon. Do you really think that it is smart to take four?” Tommy closed his eyes and rested his head against the head rest. “Isaac, he kicked me in the back four times. Right now, sitting, feels like someone is stabbing red hot knives into my spine and twisting them. I really don’t think that four pills till I can lie down and get some pressure off my back are really going to do much damage.” Isaac looked over at Tommy, his jaw dropping. “He kicked you in the fucking back?! Tommy, you really need to get checked out. I thought that he might have just punched you in the stomach a few times, even though I really don’t ever want to think of that happening to you.” Just the thought of that was making Isaac sick to his stomach. Tommy shook his head. “I wish that was what he did, then I wouldn’t feel like a steamroller ran over my back, but... Normally, when he kicks, he aims for the stomach. This time... I guess he really wanted to get his point across. And it’s mainly slaps and punches. Kicks are saved for when he’s really pissed off.” Isaac took a few calming breaths before putting the car into reverse and backed out of the drive way. Once they were finally driving down the road, Isaac asked the question he was dreading the answer to. “Tommy, I need you to tell me what happened and what brought it on.” Tommy sighed, not wanting to relive those moments but knowing that he really had no choice. “I really don’t know what to say. It’s been going on for a long while now. But lately it has gotten worse. What caused today to happen was that I forgot to get the clothes from the cleaners. He came home and hit me over it. I guess that just wasn’t enough for him. He threw me to the floor and that is when he started kicking me. He told me that I was to pack my bags, not taking anything he gave me and be out in an hour. He told me that if he... No... WHEN... He saw me again, that he was going to kill me. He kicked me again, after spitting on me, then left. I called you as soon as I could get up. I never thought it would get to this point.” Isaac’s grip on the steering wheel had his knuckles white and he was clenching his teeth so hard that he thought he just might shatter them. “I’ll kill that bastard if I ever see him again. Why did you even stay after the first time he hit you or even yelled at you. Dude... You’re smarter than that.” Tommy opened his eyes and glanced at Isaac. “I don’t know. Is that car following us?” Tommy asked, closing his eyes again as things started to get blurry. He could tell that the pain pills were kicking in and it made it slightly easier to sit there. Isaac looked in the mirrors to check. “No. There is nothing behind us at all. Do you still want us to drive around or do you want me to call Sutan and let him know that we are on our way?” Tommy thought about it. The motion of the car along with the medication was soothing but lying down in a bed would feel much better and he would be able to sleep through a lot of the pain. “Call Sutan. Just tell him though, please, that I’m not really up to talking about it. You can tell him what I told you if you want but I just really can’t handle having to talk about it again. At least, not today.” Isaac pulled out his phone and dialed Sutan’s number. “Hey, man. Listen... John worked Tommy over really bad. I’ll explain everything to you when we get there but he needs a place to stay for a few days. Is it alright that he stay with you? John knows where I live and it really isn’t safe... Thanks. We should be there in about twenty minutes.” Isaac hung up his phone and signaled to turn his car around. “Tommy... One question. What are you going to say to Adam? You know you can’t avoid him forever and he’s gonna wonder why your no longer with John. Plus, a death threat, Tommy... He needs to know about that shit.” Tommy shook his head, feeling tears fill his eyes at the mention of Adam finding out. He knew that Adam would never judge him or condemn him, but he knew that Adam would be disappointed in him and would question him the same way Isaac had about why he stayed with John with all the abuse that he went through. He could handle that kind of question from Isaac but not Adam. Last thing he ever wanted to do was cause Adam to be disappointed in him. Plus, he knew how protective Adam was over his family and friends, especially him. He had been Adam’s favourite since the day they had met. That had been the cause of a lot of fights between him and John. John saw Adam as a threat and wanted Tommy to end their friendship. But he would’ve never be able to do that. Part of him knew that John did have a small right to be worried. That part knew that secretly, he was in love with Adam even though he had never admitted to anyone, not even himself, really. And with how protective Adam was, there would be no way to hold him back if he decided to go after John for what he had done to Tommy. “I know, I really do. I just can’t do it right now. There is no way that I can figure out how to explain it all to him and not totally screw everything up.” Tommy sat up to grab the water again, taking a few mouthfuls. “He won’t judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Hell. He’ll probably kill John before the rest of us can get our hands on him.” Tommy sighed and closed his eyes. “I know he wouldn’t. He’s not like that. As for that last part... That’s one of the things I’m afraid of.” They drove the rest of the way in silence, which Tommy was very thankful for as it gave him a chance to doze off.


	2. Busted!

When they pulled into Sutan’s driveway, Isaac could see him standing on the porch. Isaac parked the car and gently shook Tommy’s shoulder. “Tommy, time to get up. We’re here.” Tommy slowly blinked his eyes open and looked around. “Thanks. Just give me a second to get orientated.” Isaac nodded. “I’ll get your things out of the car and then come back for you.” As Isaac got out of the car, Sutan came over to him, glancing in the car and seeing the pained expression on Tommy’s face. “Are you going to tell me what happened?” Sutan questioned firmly. “Help me get his stuff out of the car so we can get him in. He really needs to sleep right now. Then I will tell you everything that he told me.” Sutan eyed him, really wanting to demand answers now but he knew that Isaac was right. Tommy needed to sleep, let his body start to heal itself. “Alright. Your right. Are we gonna need to help him in?” Isaac shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. He took four percocet on the way over here. He’s probably feeling the pain but not as much. But they may make him too woozy to walk on his own.” Sutan grabbed Isaac’s arm, stopping him from opening the trunk. “Why the fuck did you let him take four?! Are you insane?!” Isaac looked Sutan straight in the eyes. “I didn’t let him. He was swallowing them as I realized it. He said that he was in so much pain that it couldn’t do anymore damage. Sutan, he’s really bad off. Let it go for now.” Sutan pursed his lips and gave Isaac a little glare but said no more on the topic. They got all of Tommy’s stuff out of the car and into one of the spare rooms, where Sutan turned down the bed and then headed back out to the car. Sutan opened the door and touched Tommy’s shoulder. “VayVee? Are you ready to go in the house now? Got the bed all folded down for you. Let’s help you in, get you settled. I’ll bring you in some ginger ale. It will do you better than water and then you can get to sleep. Once you wake-up, I’ll make you something to eat or we can order out. Isaac can even spend the night, if you want.” Tommy smiled at him and rested his cheek against Sutan’s hand that was still on his shoulder. “That sounds great. I think I’ve been sitting too long. My back is totally stiff. I hate to admit it but I think that I am actually going to need help.” Sutan nodded his head and stepped back so that Tommy could swing his legs out of the car, but he wasn’t prepared when Tommy cried out and started gasping for air. “Tommy! Holy shit! Baby, what’s wrong?” Sutan dropped to his knees in front of Tommy and began brushing his fringe away from his face. Tommy reached out and grabbed Sutan’s arm and held it while he caught his breath back. “It’s my back. Sat too long and it got stiff. John really got me good. Please... Just help me get into the house and into bed. I told Isaac he could tell you everything.” Sutan gave Tommy a look like he wanted to argue with him but understood that right now he was in way too much pain. Sutan stood up and let Tommy use him for support to pull himself out of the car. Taking most of Tommy’s weight, with Isaac on the other side of him, they got him into the house and into the bedroom. Tommy gently sat down on the bed, wincing and whimpering. While Isaac helped Tommy get his shoes and jeans off, Sutan went to get him a glass of ginger ale and a heating pad. When it came to Tommy changing into a t-shirt like he always wore, he refused, saying he wanted to wear the shirt he was wearing. Normally, Isaac would question why Tommy wanted to sleep in a long sleeved shirt when he always slept in a t-shirt, but considering what he had gone through, he just passed it off that maybe raising his arms would hurt him way too much. As Sutan walked into the room, Tommy was just starting to lie down. “VayVee, before you lie down, at least take a few sips and let me set the heating pad up. It will help ease the muscles in your back.” Tommy gratefully took the glass and drank some. Once Sutan had the heating pad in place and on the lowest heat so that it wouldn’t burn him while he was sleeping, Tommy very slowly and gently laid back, sighing as the pressure was relieved and the warmth began to seep into the muscles. “Thank you, both, for everything.” Sutan leaned down and kissed Tommy on the cheek. “Don’t you worry about it. We love you and would do anything for you. Now you get some sleep, VayVee. Isaac and I will be in the living room if you need anything.” Tommy nodded and gave him a small smile. “Okay.” Isaac leaned down and gave Tommy a kiss on the forehead. “You rest. I’ll fill Sutan in on everything. Then we will take it one step at a time.” Tommy gave a small nod and closed his eyes. For the first time in almost a year, he fell into a deep, restful sleep knowing that he was safe and loved. Sutan and Isaac watched from the doorway for a few minutes till they were sure that Tommy was asleep. Once they could hear him faintly snoring, Sutan grabbed Isaac’s arm and dragged him into the living room. “Spill it, Isaac. I’ve never seen him in that much pain. Now... What the fuck happened?” Isaac pointed to the couch. “You might want to sit down. I don’t know much but what I do know... You’ll need to brace yourself.” Once both of them were sitting down, Isaac looked down and shook his head. “I don’t know how he got himself into this, but... From what I understand, the abuse has been happening for awhile. Tommy told me that John hits him and punches him most of the time, but there are times where he gets Tommy down and kicks him, usually in the stomach. I don’t know why there have been other fights but today was caused because Tommy forgot to pick up the cleaning. He hit him, was screaming at him and threw him to the floor. This time, instead of kicking him in the stomach, he kicked him three times in the lower back. He, uh, he told Tommy the next time he sees him, he’s gonna kill him. He told him to pack his stuff and get out. Gave him an hour. Then he spit on him, kicked him in the back again and left. Tommy called me and asked me to come and get him. I could barely make sense of what he was saying. He was in so much pain when I got there, I’m surprised that he was even able to move, let alone pack the stuff he did. When he cried out in front of you... That wasn’t the first I’ve heard and I’m sure that he did that a lot before I picked him up. He had me take the three bottles of painkillers that John had in the bathroom and he refuses to go to the hospital.” Sutan stood up without saying a word and walked into the kitchen. Isaac stayed sitting on the couch, not sure of how to react to Sutan’s response to what he had just been told. Sutan returned a few minutes later with a bottle of vodka and two tumblers. “I really need a drink right now or I will be going straight to that fucker’s house and strangling him with my bare fucking hands.” Isaac took the glass from Sutan, his eyes huge and took a deep drink, wincing as it burned going down his throat. “Sutan, your not one for violence. I can’t believe you just threatened that. But I can’t blame you. I feel the same way that you do.” Sutan took a long swallow of his drink and raised his eyebrows. “I’ve got a question. What are we gonna tell Adam? You know that he will flip and that he will go after John. I shouldn’t be saying this but I know you won’t say anything. Adam admitted to me that he’s in love with Tommy. That he has been for years. He has been hoping that Tommy and the fucker would break-up so he could finally ask him out. But after this... I don’t think Tommy is going to be up to dating anyone. Have you talked to him about him telling Adam what has been going on and what happened today?” Isaac nodded and took another drink. “I brought it up in the car to him. He acted strange about it. He said, and I quote, ‘I know, I really do. I just can’t do it right now. There is no way that I can figure out how to explain it all to him and not totally screw everything up.’ I don’t get what he meant about not screwing everything up. Adam would never walk away from him over something like this. Hell! If anything.. It would make him go more ape-shit protective over him.” Sutan was quiet for a few minutes, sipping at his vodka and thinking. Suddenly, he turned to face Isaac and grabbed his arm. “You don’t think that maybe Tommy is in love with Adam and that he’s afraid that Adam will hate him if he finds out, do you?” Isaac tilted his head from side to side a few times, tossing the idea around in his head. “It’s possible. I mean.. He seemed really quiet after that. Said one or two more things and that was it. That’s why I remember exactly what he said, cause it as so odd and he got so quiet. I thought that it might have been cause of the pain pills but now that you mention it.” Sutan went to say something, but a thud and a loud cry interrupted him. Both men jumped up and rushed to the bedroom Tommy was in. As they burst through the door, they saw Tommy using the bed to pull himself to his feet, whimpering. They rushed over to him and helped him back onto the bed. “What the hell happened?” Isaac asked him as he very gently rubbed Tommy’s back. While it hurt to have Isaac touch him like that, it also felt good at the same time. Tommy shook his head. “I was thirsty and also have to go to the bathroom. I was feeling better as I sat up, but I guess I stood up too fast. I’m still a bit dizzy from the meds and I tripped, stupidly, over my own feet. The fall jarred my back pretty bad.” Sutan knelt down in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not giving you a choice in this. You are going to the hospital and you are going now. Either we can bring you or I call for an ambulance. I’m leaving that up to you. And you, Isaac, you should’ve taken him instead of bringing him here.” Tommy held his hand up to silence Sutan. “He tried. I just yelled at him and told him no hospitals. But he did want to take me.” Sutan looked at Isaac with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I know you had said you tried, but... I can’t help but wish you had do it regardless of him saying no. I’m just worried about our boy here.” Isaac smiled back. “No need to apologize. I would have reacted the same way. Now, which do you choose, Tommy?” Tommy heaved a sigh, not wanting either choice. “I’ll let you take me. But this does NOT get back to Adam. I will tell him when I’m ready.” Isaac and Sutan gave each other the same knowing look but didn’t say anything. “Think you can get your jeans on and then one of us will help you put your shoes on?” Sutan asked as Isaac went over to the chair where he had placed Tommy’s jeans earlier. Tommy nodded and took the jeans Isaac held out. It took a bit of a struggle and a lot of cursing on his part, but Tommy finally managed to get his jeans on. Isaac pulled the shoes out from under the bed and help Tommy get them on. “You ready?” Isaac asked as he extended his hand. Tommy took his hand and let Isaac help him to his feet. Tommy made a pit stop at the bathroom while Sutan went and got him a bottle of water. Silently they walked to the car, only pausing for a minute when they stepped off the porch so Tommy could catch his breath. There was minimal conversation on the ride to the hospital, but when they got there, Tommy suddenly panicked. “I’ve changed my mind. Just take me back to your place, Sutan. I’ll be more careful getting up and I’ll go easy on the pain pills. Just give me two or three days and then I’ll be fine. Just, please..... Take me home.” Sutan turned to face Tommy and shook his head. “No! You need to be seen. This is not up for discussion, Tommy. Now, why this sudden out burst?” Tommy turned his head and stared out the window, not saying a word. “TommyJoe! Answer me! Why do you not wanna get seen and treated? He could’ve broken something in your back or did some kind of damage to your nerves. Aren’t you even thinking about that? What the hell is wrong with you?” Tommy finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Because.. Because I’m a cutter. I cut to deal with the pain that John put me through. All the emotional pain that he constantly put me through? Do you know what that felt like? One day I discovered that cutting made the emotional pain seem less. If they see the cuts and the scars? They’ll lock me up. That’s not what I need, Sutan. I need to be with people I can trust and you know me. I don’t trust strangers. So, please, take me home? I’m sorry I didn’t say anything at the house. It didn’t occur to me that I would have to take my shirt off for them to examine me till we got here.” Tommy turned and looked at Sutan, tears streaming down his face. “Please!” Sutan looked back at Isaac to get his opinion on the matter. “Where are the cuts?” Isaac asked in almost a whisper. “My arm.” Tommy said as he looked down at his lap. “Show us.” Sutan told him, a frown on his face. “Can it wait till we get back to the house? I don’t want to do it out here. I’ll put on a t-shirt when we get back and I’ll let you see them.” Isaac glared at him. “And let me guess... Don’t tell Adam about this either? You’ll tell him when your ready? What is with you, TommyJoe?” Tommy’s lower lip began to tremble. “Don’t call me that. Only Adam can call me TommyJoe. And your right. This is something that I will tell Adam when I’m ready. I told you I would show you them when we got back to Sutan’s. What more do you want from me?” Sutan shifted till he was fitting in the space between the seats and tucked a finger under Tommy’s chin. “Just tell us one thing. Are you in love with Adam?” Tommy bit his lower lip so hard that he almost drew blood. Tears began to stream faster down his cheeks as he nodded his head. “Yeah. I’ve never admitted it to anyone till now. I’ve even been lying to myself about it.” Sutan wiped away Tommy’s tears and gave him a very soft smile. “I’m sorry we called you TommyJoe. We should’ve known better. Alright, I’ll bring you back to my house. But we’re going to look at your back as well as your arm. And you have three days with minimal doses of the pain killers. If your not moving better and only on Tylenol by then.... Your coming straight back here and nothing you say will make us change our minds. If I have to, I’ll bring Raja out and you know TranMa don’t play around.” Tommy gave a tiny laugh. “Okay. Arm, back, three days, not too many pain killers, Tylenol or back here. Thanks, guys.” Sutan tapped him on the nose with his finger and then turned around so he could start the car. When Sutan looked over at Isaac, he saw him staring out the window and couldn’t read the expression on his face. Sutan pulled out of the parking space and headed back to his house. On the ride back, Isaac felt his phone vibrate. Glanced down at the screen and read Adam’s reply Isaac smiled to him self as he sent Adam a simple thank you. “Sutan, mind if we make on quick stop on the way back?” Sutan glanced over at Tommy, who sat with his head resting against the glass. “I don’t know. Tommy, you up to a quick stop or do you just want to go back?” Tommy tossed a quick smile at Sutan. “We can stop.” Sutan nodded. “Okay. Where we stopping?” Isaac pointed to a small corner store. “There. I think tonight calls for chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I know you don’t have.” Tommy turned around wincing but still giving Isaac a huge smile. “That, right there, is why I love you so much. Could you also grab one other thing?” Isaac smiled back. “What?” Tommy blushed a bit before answering. “The newest issue of Guitar Magazine? I haven’t been able to get it yet. I’ll toss you the money when I can actually reach my wallet.” Isaac shook his head. “Don’t worry about. On the house. And if you really do feel the need to ever pay me back.. Pick me up a copy of Drum!. Deal?” Tommy giggled and rested back in his seat, head once again against the window. “Deal.” Sutan smiled at the banter between two of his closest friends as he pulled into the lot of the store. Isaac jumped out of the car but stuck his head back in right before closing the door. “Anything else while I’m in there?” Tommy and Sutan glanced at each other and both shrugged. “Okay, I’ll take a quick sweep and see if anything catches my eye. Call me if you think of anything.” Isaac stood up, closed the door and jogged over to the store, dialing his phone. Adam picked up the phone just as Isaac was in the building. “What’s going on, Isaac? I feel like a creep sneaking into Sutan’s and hiding in the room you told me to.” Isaac sighed. “Look. Something bad is going on with Tommy. All I can say is that he’s been hiding a lot of things and still wants to keep them from you, which is gonna end up getting him hurt worse. He has a good reason why he’s been hiding things but it’s time he comes clean to all of us. Just stay there, in the shadows. We’ll be there soon.” Isaac hung up before Adam could say a word, knowing he would start freaking out on him for what he just revealed about Tommy. Isaac grabbed what he came into the store for and headed to the cashier. After paying for his items, he went back to the car. He saw the two of them had their eyes closed so he lightly tapped on the window so opening the door wouldn’t startle them. He got in and nodded. ”Now we can go. You want your magazine now or when we get back?” Tommy waved his hand dismissively. “After we get back would be best.” Isaac smiled and sat back. He knew that he should feel bad for setting Tommy up like this but he knew that Tommy would end up in a deeper depression the longer he hid everything from Adam. As they pulled up to Sutan’s, Isaac glanced around to make that Adam and his car were no where in sight. Satisfied that the coast was clear, Isaac mentally crossed his fingers that things would go as planned with Adam discovering Tommy’s secrets. Tommy managed to get out of the car on his own and only needed a little help with the stairs. Once they were inside, Isaac put his plan in motion. “While I put the ice cream away, why don’t you go change like you said and we can have our talk. Better to get it over with, right?” Tommy just shrugged his shoulder but headed towards his room. “I hope you know what you’ve done, Isaac. That boy may never trust you again. Adam text me. You better be prepared for the fallout if this fails.” Sutan said to him with a glare and then walked out of the room. Isaac closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, praying that what he did would actually work. Tommy walked into the bedroom and closed the door, not seeing Adam standing in the shadows the setting sun was creating, but Adam could see Tommy perfectly. He watched as Tommy went over to his suitcase and opened it up, taking out his favourite Metallica t-shirt. As Tommy started to pull his shirt over his head, Adam could hear him breathing hard and trying to keep his whimpers silent. He wanted to rush over to him and find out what was wrong but Isaac had said to just watch, that he would see. Sutan just told him to do what he felt was right, but at the moment, Adam wasn’t sure what was right. Tommy had his back to Adam when he finally go his shirt of and Adam couldn’t stay hidden anymore. “Oh my god, TommyJoe. What happened to you, baby?” Tommy felt his whole boy go numb, the t-shirt fell from his hand and he spun around coming face to face with the one person he didn’t want to know about this. “Adam.” Tommy whispered, panic filling his eyes.


	3. Just Getting Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but I felt that it was the best place to leave off at.

Adam could see that he was about to try and run, so before he could, he grabbed Tommy’s hand and pulled him against himself. “Baby, what happened to your back? And why were you just about to run from me?” Adam wrapped both arms around Tommy’s upper back, not wanting to touch the almost black bruises that he had seen. Tommy buried his face into Adam’s chest and broke down. “I’m so sorry, Adam. I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you. I should’ve come to you. I’m so, so sorry.” Tommy sobbed hard into Adam’s chest. Adam brought one hand up and tangled it into Tommy’s hair and held him, feeling his own tears starting to fall from his eyes. Whatever or whoever hurt this fey-like creature in his arms, he wanted destroyed. “It’s okay, Baby. Please, TommyJoe, please.. Don’t cry. Whatever it is, we can fix it together. Just tell me what happened.” Tommy could hear in his voice that Adam was crying and it killed him to know that he was the cause of that pain, not stopping to think that maybe the tears were because he, himself, was in pain and Adam never wanted him to feel pain. “I have to talk to Sutan and Isaac about this. They know some but not all. I was supposed to come in here, change into a t-shirt and then meet them to show them what happened, what I did, the whole story. If you want, I would like for you to be there. I, uh..... I have something that I need to tell you, also.” Adam kissed the top of Tommy’s head, savoring the feeling of having him in his arms, how well he fit, the way he smelled and the way he would bury his head in the crook of his neck. “Oh, baby. You should know by now that I would do anything for you. And I will always be by your side, supporting you.” Tommy pulled back and looked into Adam’s eyes. “Thank you.’ Tommy whispered softly. Adam smiled at him and cupped his cheek with his hand. Tommy nuzzled into the hand and closed his eyes. Being around Adam always made him feel strong, made him feel like he could do anything. “Get changed. I’ll be in the living room with the others.” Tommy nodded and watched as Adam left the room. He tried to pick up his shirt but it hurt too much to bend, so he grabbed a plain black t-shirt out of his suitcase and pulled it over his head. Spotting the towel that had the pain killers in it, Tommy walked over to it and opened it up. He knew that he had promised to go easy on then but right now, he needed them. Opening up one of the bottles, he poured three out onto his hand and swallowed them dry. He sat on the edge of the bed, not only to try to give himself a few more minutes before his world exploded, but to also give the pills time to kick in. A light knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Sutan poking his head in the door. “Are you okay?” Tommy nodded. “Just gathering my thoughts before the big explosion. If Adam, you know, wants to still be around me after I, well, God this is hard. Alright... Can Adam stay here too if he wants to after everything. I really need all three of you around me. You’re the only ones that I trust.” Sutan smiled at him. “Of course he can stay, VayVee. I understand the need to be around people you trust at a hard point in your life. Just one of them will have to take the couch cause I only have two spare rooms.” Tommy chuckled. “We’ll make Isaac take the couch. I know that he’s the one that set it up for Adam to be here. You couldn’t have done it and Adam wouldn’t just show up and hide somewhere in your house for no reason.” Sutan let out a relieved breath. “I’m just glad that him getting Adam here didn’t end bad. I was worried that it would stop you from wanting to talk about things.” Tommy shook his head. “I’m actually glad. Now I can get everything out all at once and not have to repeat anything. I, uh, I’m going to also after everything, um, pull him aside and tell him that I’m in love with him. I don’t expect him to, uh, feel the same, but, um, yeah. He deserves to know. That’s not something you should hide from someone.” Sutan smiled at him and raised his eyebrow. “You may just be surprised at his reaction. You ready?” Tommy closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He felt numbness in his body and knew the pills were kicking in. He opened his eyes and gingerly stood up. “Not really but its now or never.” Tommy and Sutan walked to the living room where Adam and Isaac sat talking. When Adam saw Tommy, he motioned for him to come over. As Tommy sat down next to him, Adam carefully pulled him closer so that Tommy could snuggle into his side and if need be, had his neck to hide in. “Thanks.” Tommy whispered to Adam as he rested his head on his shoulder. Adam rested his head on top of Tommy’s. “Your welcome.” Neither of them noticed the smile that Isaac and Sutan shared as they witnessed the actions between the two of them. Sutan sat on the opposite couch next to Isaac as they patiently waited for Tommy to begin. “It’s kinda a long story.” Tommy said quietly, his eyes closed, pain written clearly on his face. “We have time, baby. Just relax and talk as you need to.” Adam told him. Tommy remained quiet a few minutes, organizing his thoughts. “Some things that come out may not be in order. I need you guys to not interrupt me. Just let me get it all out. I will let you know when I’m done speaking.”


	4. Revelation

“When I first got with John, he was the perfect guy. We got along so well and he paid so much attention to me. That didn’t last long. It started with yelling. If I did something he didn’t like or didn’t do it his way, he would yell at me. Then the names started. At first they weren’t too bad, but eventually they got so bad that it felt like my soul was being shredded by his words. The first time he slapped me was after he had called me a retarded, ugly little fucker. I yelled back. I really don’t remember what I said to him, but he slapped me hard enough to split my lip. I knew then that I should’ve left when the yelling started, but he kept apologizing and swearing that it would never happen again. Stupidly, I believed him. He did keep his word.. For about two weeks. I have a hard time remembering that night. I know I said something and he wanted me to apologize to him. When I wouldn’t apologize, he punched me so hard that he actually knocked me out. I had to stay in the house almost three weeks till the bruise on my jaw went away. By that time, I was actually too scared to leave. I was scared that he would track me down just to kill me for leaving him. I mean, it’s not like he had said that he was going to kill me then or anything but.. You know what I mean. It got worse from there. To make that part of the story short but to the point... The violence got worse. It led to more punches and then kicks to the stomach. In there, many of the times that we were, uh, together, it was by force. Even if I didn’t want to be intimate with him, I had to be. The one time that I did fight back and tell him no, I thought for sure he was going to kill me. He wrapped his hands around my throat till I gave in and went limp. He called the hand marks around my throat his person collar, marking me as his. This morning was by far the worst of the violence, other than the night he beat me and choked me. I had to go out and pick up a few things that we needed. One of the things that I was supposed to pick up was the dry cleaning. I forgot it. It started out with a slap to the face which I could handle. When he threw me to the floor by my hair, I knew a kick was coming. I curled up trying to protect my stomach but he had another idea. He gave me three hard kicks to the small of my back. He told me to pack up my stuff, leaving everything that he ever gave me, and get out of his house. He told me I had an hour before he would be back and that I better be gone when he got home. He, um, he told me that the next time he sees me, that he’s, uh, he’s going to kill me. He spit on me, kicked me in the back again and then left. That’s when I called Isaac to come and get me out of there. But during the time that John and I were together, I discovered the lifestyle of cutting. John never cared when he would see me doing it or when he would see the scabs. It got to where I was doing at least five cuts a day. I made sure to keep the cuts small so there wouldn’t be too many large ones where I couldn’t cover them if I had to. But I made them deep to cover the fact they were small. I actually want to cut right now but I need to leave that part of my life behind and not bring it with me. I promised Isaac and Sutan that they could see my arm and back, so they could check them out. I want to thank you guys for trying to get me to go to the hospital today but I know that there is nothing wrong but bruised muscle and bone. It’s happened from him beating me before. And I’m going to do my best to never cut myself again. I know that Adam caught a little glimpse of my back but I don’t know what it looks like myself. Adam, if you want to leave, never talk to me again for being so stupid to be with him, even with all the abuse, I understand. Same goes for all of you. But, Adam, I could feel how tense you are. I had asked Sutan if you could stay tonight, but I think I know the answer. I understand. I think I’m done.” Adam moved Tommy gently away from his side and turned Tommy’s head so that they were looking eye to eye. “What you are feeling is my rage at John and myself. Not you, TommyJoe.” Tommy gave him a puzzled look. “Why would you be mad at yourself, Adam? You did nothing wrong. I did and John did.” Adam shook his head sadly. “Oh, TommyJoe, no. YOU did NOTHING wrong. Not the smartest thing you could chose to do, but not wrong. You were scared to leave and I understand that. John was wrong and if I ever see him near you or even if he calls or texts, you.. I’ll kill him. And I’m pissed at myself. How could I not see this happening? You my best friend and I love you so much. I should’ve seen it when we hung out together. There were times you cancelled and I brushed it off. But now, I’m thinking that maybe, they were times after he had hurt you. And I hate myself for not seeing it sooner.” Tears filled Tommy’s eyes as he shook his head. “No, Adam, please, don’t... Don’t take any blame. I got good at hiding it. No one knew. And don’t you DARE kill him. He’s not worth going to prison for. I can’t lose you like that.” Sutan cleared his throat to get their attention. “Adam, Tommy is right. Don’t blame yourself for it. But, Tommy, Adam is also right. You did nothing wrong so don’t blame yourself. John is the one that did wrong and he should be punished. Personally I think, and who knows, the others might agree with me, but, I think that you should go to the hospital and the police. Even if not to get checked out for your own good, but as evidence and proof of what he did to you. I’m not going to make you do it, but you should. Or even just go to the police.” Tommy shook his head and looked like he was about to have a panic attack. “He will kill me for sure. I just want to forget this and move on with my life. I don’t want to end up dead.” Adam cupped his face with both hands. “Take a few deep breaths. C’mon. That’s it. In. And out. In. And out. Good. You are NOT going to end up dead. I won’t let that happen to you. You mean way to much to me. I agree that you really should but I won’t force you. There is another option.” Tommy blink and a few tears fell from his eyes. “What option?” Adam used his thumbs to wipe the tears from Tommy’s face. “We could take the pictures of your back and save them, have them dated. Then, if you change your mind in the future, you have them. If you don’t, then you don’t. But at least you have the option.” Isaac nodded. “I think that Adam has a good idea. I could tell by your reaction that you aren’t gonna go and make any report. At least not right now. That proof will be there to help you should you change your mind, Tommy.” Tommy closed his eyes and leaned forward towards Adam. Adam let go of his face so Tommy could rest against him. Tommy buried his face into Adam’s neck and sat there, shaking against him. Adam wrapped his arms around him, careful not to touch the bruises. “Do I have to?” Tommy whispered to Adam. Adam shook his head. “No, baby. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. But it would be best. No one would know about the pictures but us.” Tommy’s shaking calmed down with Adam’s arms around him. Adam always made him feel so safe and protected. Whenever he was around Adam, he knew nothing would ever hurt him. Once his breathing returned to normal, he nodded into Adam’s neck. “Okay. I’ll let you take the pictures, but only if your holding me while they are taken. I feel safer right now with you than I have felt in over a year.” Adam buried his face into Tommy’s hair and kissed the top of his head. “Of course I will, baby. You are not alone in this. I’m not going anywhere and neither will Isaac or Sutan. Your safe with them. And your safe with me. I will never let anything to happen to you again if I can help it.” Tommy nodded and place a small kiss on Adam’s neck. It wasn’t the first time he had done that, so he didn’t think Adam would think anything different. But Adam noticed that the kiss lingered a little longer than they normally did and that Tommy still hadn’t pulled away the way he normally did. Isaac and Sutan looked at each other and smiled over the small displays of affection Adam and Tommy were showing each other. Neither of them had any doubt left in their minds that the two of them were in love with each other. “Are you ready?” Adam asked Tommy, wanting to get this over and done with. The sooner it was over, the sooner he could start at helping Tommy start to heal. Tommy nodded and lifted his head. “Thank you.” Tommy whispered, making eye contact with Adam. Adam placed his hand on Tommy’s cheek and rubbed his thumb over Tommy’s lower lip. “Anything for you, TommyJoe.” Sutan stood up and walked over to the closet, getting out his camera. “We’ll look at your arm first, then your back. Should I get anything to clean the cuts with or anything?” Tommy shook his head. It’s been two days so they’re closed. You don’t have to worry about them.” Sutan sat down on the other side of Tommy while Isaac came over and sat crossed legged by Tommy’s feet. Tommy bit his lower lip and slowly held out his arm, palm side up. Sutan took it first and looked at it. “Oh, VayVee. You need to stop this. How could you even take the pain?” Tommy shrugged his shoulders, his whole body literally numb from the pain killers. “Easier than the emotional pain.” Adam had noted a slight slur in Tommy’s words earlier, but it was getting more pronounced. Isaac held out his hand for Tommy to put his arm into. Once Tommy did, Isaac cringed when he saw the scars and the scabs. “Oh, Tommy. It looks like there are hundreds of them. Please, Tommy, we love you and don’t want to lose you. You need to stop.” Tommy nodded and turned to Adam. “Do you want to see, too?” Adam just nodded and waited for Tommy to make the first move. When Tommy held his arm out for Adam to look at, he felt sick to his stomach looking at his arm. The skin was so scarred and littered with fresh cuts that you could barely see any of his actual flesh. He took Tommy’s arm in one hand and ran his other hand over his flesh. “Never do this again, TommyJoe. Please. Some of these are way too close to the wrist. I can’t lose you, baby.” Tommy nodded, wanting to fall into Adam’s arms and just cry, knowing that Adam would soothe him till he was calm and able to just fall asleep. “I’m gonna try my best to stop. I promise I am. I can’t promise I won’t fuck up but I can promise that I will try my best.” Adam gave a faint nod at Tommy’s promise. “I guess it’s time to really bite the bullet and show you my back, huh?” Tommy asked, damn near chewing his lower lip off and his words almost a drunken slur. “TommyJoe... Do you have something else that you want to tell us? Why are your words slurring like that?” Adam asked, putting a finger under Tommy’s chin and lifting his head up. “I took a couple of pain killers before I came down. All the sitting in the car and I knew I’d be sitting a lot down here. Plus, I didn’t know if you would have to touch my back at all. I already promised Sutan that I was going to only take them when I had to and be off them in three days.” Adam looked at Sutan. “Thank you for taking care of him.” Sutan nodded. “Okay, Tommy. Think you can get your shirt off without causing yourself anymore pain? I wanna get this done with so you can lie down and get the pressure off your back.” Tommy took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head, his back facing the back of the couch. “Let me see it first, baby.” Tommy turned to face Sutan and heard Adam gasp. “Oh my god. It looked bad in the shadows, now, in the light........ Oh, TommyJoe.” Tommy felt Adam’s hand ghosting over the skin of his lower back. The touch was so light, he knew that even if he hadn’t taken anything for the pain, he still wouldn’t have felt pain from Adam’s touch. Adam was having a hard time controlling his anger. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to find the bastard and rip his throat out. “That bastard is never going to touch you again.” Adam said as calm as he could but with enough force that there was no doubt he meant every word he said. “Let me see, Tommy.” Isaac said softly, not really wanting to see after he saw Adam’s reaction. It hurt Tommy to turn to where he was facing the back of the couch but he knew that he wouldn’t have to sit that way for long. Sutan was the one that was going to check him out and take the pictures. “Oh fuck.” Isaac whispered when he saw Tommy’s back, how the bruises were almost black. “I can see why your in so much pain. Oh, god.” Tommy glanced at Sutan. “You ready?” Sutan nodded. Tommy turn so that he was facing Adam and let Sutan see his back. The cry that Sutan let out was heartbreaking on its own. “Tommy, I... This is just... Fuck. I’m just gonna take the pictures first, then.. Then I’ll check you out. I’m so scared I’m gonna hurt you.” Tommy sighed. “You won’t hurt me. It might be painful but your doing it for my own good. So therefore, it won’t hurt.” Tommy leaned forward so his head was against Adam’s shoulder, his face in the crook of his neck. Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy’s shoulders, nuzzling into Tommy’s hair. “My hands are okay here, right? They’re not going to interfere with the pictures, right?” Adam asked. Sutan nodded and brought the camera up. “They’re fine. I’m going to snap five pictures. You ready?” Sutan could barely hear Tommy say he was ready with how he had his face buried but he heard it enough. He was so disgusted that he had to take pictures like this of his best friend after getting beaten by his now ex-boyfriend. He took the pictures as fast as he could and sat the camera on the end table behind him. “I’m gonna check your back now. If it hurts too much, let me know and I’ll stop so you can rest for a bit.” It was Adam who answered him. “He said okay. I figured you wouldn’t be able to hear him the way he’s buried against me.” Sutan gave him a smile. “Your right. I couldn’t hear him. Okay, Tommy. I’m gonna rub over the knobs of your spine and the muscles on each side to make sure there are no gap-like areas or bumps which could mean torn or ripped muscles. Gonna star now.” Right after he said now, he placed his hand mid-spine and ran his hand downwards, making sure that the knobs were all in a straight line and that there was no bulging of any of the disks. He could hear little whimpers coming from Tommy, but he made no sound to tell Sutan to stop. He ran his hand down the right side first and Tommy’s whimpers got louder. Adam tightened his arms around Tommy’s shoulders and he began to whispers words to him that Sutan couldn’t make out but they seemed to calm Tommy a bit. When he ran his hand down the left side, Tommy cried out really loud, startling everyone in the room. “That really hurts there. That was where he got me with his last kick.” Sutan rested his hand on Tommy’s upper back. “Well, from what I could tell, nothing is damaged other than bruising like you said. If it’s still this tender in a few days, you have to get it checked out, VayVee. I’m not a doctor and I don’t have the proper machines to check you out.” Tommy nodded into Adam’s neck. “That’s enough, Sutan. I’m taking him to bed. He needs to get the pressure off his back and I know the pills are making him drowsy. Want me to carry you, baby? I know you can walk, but, all this sitting and moving and having Sutan check you out. I know you really have to be in pain.” Tommy lifted his head and looked at Adam. “You can carry me. Will you stay with me tonight? I’d really feel better if you were there with me. And it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” Adam looked at Sutan. “Is it alright?” A huge smile came across Sutan’s face, like he knew the greatest secret in the world that no one else knew. “Of course it is. Now go and make sure our boy is okay and gets some sleep. He only got about an hour earlier.” Adam stood up and picked Tommy up in his arms with no effort. “You’ve lost weight. Your gonna have to start eating more to put it back on.” Tommy giggled. “Alright, mom.” Adam laughed and turned to Isaac. “When he gets up tomorrow, considering it’s about midnight now, order a bunch of Mexican food. Gonna fatten this boy up.” Isaac laughed and gave Adam a mock salute. Adam rolled his eyes and started walking towards the bedroom. Isaac ran up to them and tossed Tommy’s shirt onto his stomach. “You don’t want to forget this.” Tommy smiled at him. “Thanks, man.” Isaac nodded and returned the smile. “Your welcome.” When they got into the bedroom, Adam carefully sat Tommy down on his feet and brushed his fringe away from his face. “I’m gonna go see if maybe Sutan has a pair of pants that will fit me to sleep in. Get changed for bed and I’ll be right in.” Tommy grabbed Adam’s hand. “When you get back, can I tell you what I need to?” Adam squeezed his hand. “Of course you can. I have something that I need to tell you, too.” Tommy squeezed back and let go of Adam’s hand. He watched Adam walk out of the room and let out a breath that he didn’t even know that he had been holding. He went over to his bag and grabbed a pair of loose fitting sweat pants and a wife beater to sleep in. He was able to just kick off his shoes but changing proved to be a bit difficult but he managed. By the time he was done and turning down the bed, his back was really starting to bother him. A soft knock on the door brought a smile to his face. The only person that ever knocked that softly was Adam. Unless he was excited about something. Then he would pound on the door until Tommy would open it. Thankfully he never did that when John was home. “Come in.” Tommy called out as he sat down on the bed. Adam opened the door and came in, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed. “You okay?” Adam asked, rubbing his hand up and down Tommy’s arm. TTommy nodded and slowly worked himself onto the bed, lying on his side, facing Adam. Adam laid the same way. The bed was big enough for them to both fit on it but there wasn’t much room between them. “You wanna talk first?” Adam asked as he placed his hands under his head. Tommy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah. I just hope it doesn’t change things between us. I don’t think I could handle it if it did.” Adam took a hand out from under his head and took Tommy’s hand that was resting on the mattress between them. “Nothing is ever going to change things between us. The only thing that will happen between us is that we’ll get closer. That I can promise you. I’m never going to leave your side, TommyJoe.” Tommy squeezed Adam’s hand, feeling his words flow over him. “I want to be able to just say it, but after everything that has been happening... I can’t and I’m so sorry about that. But I can still say this. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve had feelings for you. But I pushed them aside and refused to ever admit them to myself. Or to anyone else for that matter. But today, I got confronted on it and I couldn’t lie. I’m in love with you, Adam. I really am. Maybe one day I could say it to you, but right now is just too soon.” Adam let go of Tommy’s hand and wrapped it around the back of his neck. “I can say it enough for the two of us. I’m in love with you, too, TommyJoe. And I will tell you that everyday for the rest of our lives.” Adam gently pulled Tommy forward a little and moved the rest of the way. He pressed their lips together in a soft, lingering kiss. Tommy grabbed Adam’s arm but didn’t pull his arm away or break the kiss. He squeezed Adam’s arm and let a small moan escape from him. Adam sighed into the kiss right before ending it. He rested their foreheads together. “I’m sorry if that was the wrong thing for me to do, but, I had to take the risk.” Tommy shook his head and ran his hand across Adam’s cheek. “Don’t be sorry. If my back wasn’t hurting so much, I’d ask for some more. That honestly had to be the most romantic kiss I’ve ever received in my whole life.” Adam ran his fingers through Tommy’s hair and gave him the brightest smile Tommy had ever seen. “I will give you those kind of kisses any time you want. I know that it is way too soon for you to get into anything but I want to let you know that should you ever want to be with me, I would be honored to call you mine and to have you call me yours.” Tommy shifted his head slightly so that he could place a loving kiss on Adam’s lips. “I was always yours. I was just too stupid to ever admit it. I want to be with you, more than anything, but..... I do need time right now, to heal and get my mind straight. Then, I promise you, I will be with you.” Adam very carefully pulled Tommy against his side. Tommy rested his head on Adam’s chest and wrapped his arm snugly around his waist. Adam made sure not to hit the bruises as he wrapped his arm around Tommy and kissed the top of his head. “You know, we forgot one thing.” Adam said as laughter suddenly started spilling out of him. Tommy lifted his head and looked at Adam with a confused look. “What’s that?” Adam pointed to the night table. “We forgot about the light.” Tommy let out with a laugh and moved back away from Adam. Adam rolled over and turned out the light. When he stretched back out, Tommy resumed his spot against Adam’s side, head on his chest and arm across his stomach. Adam tucked him closer and wrapped one arm around him and rested his other on top of Tommy’s arm that was on his stomach. “Are you comfortable?” Tommy asked Adam, wanting to make sure that he wasn’t doing anything wrong that might anger him. “I should be the one asking you that.” Tommy lifted his head and looked at Adam, the moonlight highlighting his features. “Why?” Adam gave him a puzzled look. “Why? Because your in so much pain. You have been hurt more than anyone ever should. I want, and need, to make sure that you are alright.” Tommy laid his head back down and sighed happily. “It hurts but nothing like it was when it first happened. I’m just... No one ever asked me if I was comfortable like you did. It feels weird cause I was always the one asking. But it also feels really good. Comforting. You know what I mean.” Adam rubbed his hand up and down Tommy’s arm. “Yeah, I do. And I will always ask you. Even just at random times.” Tommy blushed and closed his eyes. “Are you comfortable?” Tommy asked, sleep already seeping into his voice. “Very. I’ve always dreamed of holding you like this. And if this is all I can ever have.. I’m happy.” Tommy shook his head. “There will be more than this.” Adam hugged him closer and let out a contented sigh. “I love you, TommyJoe.” Tears threatened to fall. He wanted to say it back so bad but he couldn’t. Adam sensed his feelings. “I know you love me, too, baby. You don’t have to say it now. When your ready. It will mean even more then.” Tommy lifted his head and kissed Adam soundly on the lips. “Thank you.” Adam waited till Tommy laid his head down. “Your welcome.” Neither of them had ever slept as well as they did that night.


	5. Just When Things Were Good

It was late morning when Tommy woke-up. He opened his eyes and blinked away the sleep. “Good morning.” Adam said as he gave Tommy a bright smile. Tommy smiled back. “Morning. Have you been awake long? Why didn’t you wake me up?” Adam shrugged. “A little while. I was enjoying watching you sleep. And why would I wake you? You looked so peaceful and god knows you need the sleep. I could tell by how deep you slept that, aside from everything you’ve been dealing with, your insomnia has been acting up again, hasn’t it?” Tommy nodded. Adam frowned and cupped Tommy’s cheek in his hand. “We’ll work on that next.” Tommy smiled and began to stretch. He tried to stop himself, but the cry came out of him anyway. Adam was immediately pulling him into his arms, holding him tightly against his chest. Tommy clung to him, whimpering as Adam rubbed soothing circles gently on Tommy’s lower back. “Just take some deep breaths and try to relax. Then we can work on getting you to be able to move without screaming and without pain.” Tommy nodded and began to take in deep breaths and let them out slowly. There was a knock at the door. “It’s Sutan. Is everything alright?” Adam looked at Tommy, who nodded. “Yeah. Tommy’s back got stiff during the night and he tried to stretch too soon.” Tommy finally got his breathing under control as Sutan told them that he was going to go and make breakfast, to take their time and come eat when they were ready. Adam looked down at Tommy. “You think that you could try to straighten your legs a bit more? That will also help to stretch the muscles in your back.” Tommy took a deep breath in and started to move his legs. He whimpered and bit his lower lip as pain shot through his back. Adam kept placing soft kisses on his head and continued to rub small, soothing circles on his back. Once Tommy’s legs were straight, Tommy let out the breath he had been holding and panted softly. “Now, arch your back and lift your arms up over your head, stretching as you do so. Do it slowly, take your time.” Tommy slowly brought his arms over his head, which didn’t hurt too much. But when he arched his back, it felt like a thousand knives were being stabbed into him. He bit his lip so hard to hold in the scream, that he drew blood. Adam began to whisper to him and rubbed his back a little harder, but Tommy couldn’t understand what he was saying through the pain. It took a few minutes before the pain started to leave his body. As he lowered his arms, he straightened his back and opened his eyes. Adam sat there in front of him, worry and fear in his eyes and written all over his face. Without saying a word, Adam rubbed softly at his chin with a warm, wet washcloth, touching Tommy’s lower lip, letting Tommy know to stop biting it. As Tommy released his lip, he began to feel it throb. Adam dabbed the washcloth on his lip, washing the blood away. Then he folded it in half and washed away the tears that had flowed out of Tommy’s eyes. “Are you okay now, baby?” Tommy nodded. “The worst of the pain is over. At least for now. Thank you for helping me through it and taking care of me after.” Adam shook his head. “No need to thank me. I did it because I love you. I will always be here for you and taking care of you. Here you go. I got you some water and two of the pain killers. Take them and then you can rest till they kick in.” Tommy sat up on his elbow, flinching as he moved. He took the pills from Adam and popped them in his mouth. He took the water and drank half the glass down as he swallowed the pills. A little bit of water dripped down his chin. Adam wiped it away with the cloth, took the glass from Tommy and placed both onto the night table. He laid down and smiled when Tommy curled up against his side and moved into the same position he had been in when they had fallen asleep. He placed a kiss on the top of his head. Tommy lifted his head up and looked up at Adam. “Once I can move again, I want a proper kiss.” Adam chuckled and gave him a smile with a wink. “You can count on it.” Tommy settled his head back down and shut his eyes. Both of them enjoyed the fact that they could both just lay there with each other in peace. Tommy couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this relaxed and this safe. Without having eaten anything the day before, it didn’t take long for the pills to kick in. Tommy lifted his head and smiled when he saw Adam smiling at him, his eyes bright in the late morning light. “I’m ready for that kiss now.” Adam’s smile turned into a smirk at Tommy’s words. “Are you really now? Well, I surely don’t want to keep you waiting.” Adam tangled his hand into Tommy’s hair and brought they’re lips crashing together, pulling ragged moans out of both of them. Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam’s shoulders and rolled onto his back, dragging Adam with him. Adam braced himself on his elbows to keep his weight off of Tommy so as to not hurt his back but never broke the kiss. It was Tommy who deepened the kiss by running his tongue over Adam’s lower lip and nipping at it. He could feel his back throbbing but he tried to push through it and put it to the back of his mind, if only just for these few minutes. Their tongues met and danced around each other. Tommy bucked his hips up, trying to get friction on his fast hardening cock. Adam broke the kiss and framed Tommy’s head in his hands. “I think we need to tone this down. Now is not the time to be doing this. Not only are you not physically ready, you’re not mentally ready. We need to take this slow.” Tommy nodded his head and looked Adam right in the eyes. “Your right. But please tell me that we can at least keep the kissing. Your kisses and your lips are addicting.” Adam couldn’t help but laugh as he nodded his head. “You can kiss me any time you want to, baby.” Tommy pecked his lips. Just as he was about to peck them again, his stomach started growling. “Well, that’s a mood ruiner.” Tommy laughed out loud. Adam rolled off him and stood up. “Need help getting up?” Tommy nodded his head. “I think I can stand on my own but I would feel better if you were there in case I start to fall or something. I fell enough already trying to get up.” Adam walked around to the other side of the bed and held his hand out. Tommy took it and slowly swung his legs off the side of the bed as he sat up. Pain shot through his back but it was no where near as bad as it was earlier. He grimaced as he brought himself into a standing position. He wobbled a little bit as dizziness washed over him due to the lack of food and the pain killers. Adam wrapped his arm around him, keeping him steady on his feet. “I’m okay now.” Tommy said once the dizziness was gone. Adam let go of him but stayed by his side. “First stop bathroom.” Tommy said as he started walking towards the bathroom. Adam sat down on the bed, watching Tommy walk into the bathroom. “Waiting to use it?” Tommy asked before he shut the door. “Waiting for you. Wanna make sure that you make it to breakfast alright. Went to the bathroom earlier while you were still sleeping.” Tommy nodded his head and shut the door. While Tommy was in there, Adam thought about how timid Tommy had become since they first met and hated himself even more for that also escaping his notice. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear Tommy coming out of the bathroom. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into Tommy’s amused face. “I said your name four times. What were you thinking about?” Adam shook his head and smiled. “Nothing important. Are you ready to go and eat?” Before Tommy could answer, his stomach let out a loud growl. Both of them burst out laughing. Adam smirked at Tommy. “I’ll take that as a yes. C’mon and lets get some meat back on your bones. I didn’t really say anything last night, other than that small passing comment, but, you’ve lost a lot of weight and we need to get it back on you.” Adam was in the process of standing up when he said this so he didn’t see the flash of panic that shot through Tommy’s eyes. Adam took Tommy’s hand and held it as they walked to the kitchen. Isaac looked up and saw them holding hands. He smiled at the two of them and motioned for them to sit down. Tommy sat down next to Isaac as Adam went over to Sutan to help him carry the food to the table. Adam sat on the other side of Tommy as Sutan completed the circle sitting between Adam and Isaac. “How did you sleep last night, Tommy?” Isaac asked as he scooped some eggs onto his plate. Tommy smiled as he grabbed a piece of toast. “I slept great, actually. Best nights sleep I’ve had in a long time. I think a lot had to do with the fact that I’m not hiding anything anymore and I know that I am safe.” Isaac smiled at him and nodded. “I hear you on that.” Isaac handed Tommy the eggs. Knowing that he was being watched like a hawk, he spooned some onto his plate and snagged a few pieces of bacon. They made small talk while they ate, laughing over everything. Everyone jumped when the phone rang. Sutan stood up and walked over to the phone. “Hello? Yes. Who’s this?” They all watched as Sutan got really pale, his eyes huge. “I don’t know how you got my number, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t call here again. I haven’t seen or talked to him in a few weeks. I was actually going to call him today. Now, please never call here again. What? No. No. I’m calling the police.” Sutan hung up the phone and looked at Adam. “Get Tommy into the bedroom and don’t leave his side. Do it now.” Adam stood up and helped Tommy to his feet. Tommy looked at Sutan, his lower lip trembling, eyes filling with fear and tears. “It was John, wasn’t it? He knows I’m here, doesn’t he?” Sutan nodded his head. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Now get to the bedroom and don’t come out till Isaac or I come for you. Adam won’t let anything happen to you and neither will we.” Adam tugged Tommy’s hand, getting his attention so that they could go to the bedroom as Sutan dialed 911. They could hear him explaining the situation as they rushed to the bedroom. Once inside, Adam closed the door, locked it and began to slide the dresser in front of the door. “Tommy, go lay down. I will be right there, just let me finish blocking the door.” Tommy nodded and laid down on the bed, never taking his eyes off Adam. Once the dresser was firmly in front of the door, Adam came over and laid down next to him. “I’m scared, Adam. What if he hurts Sutan or Isaac? Why did he come here? How did he even know I was here?” Adam shook his head. “I don’t know, baby. But Isaac and Sutan will be fine and the police will be here soon.” Just then, they heard pounding on the front door and they could hear John yelling to open the door, that he had some unfinished business to take care of. Tommy began to cry as the pounding got louder and he curled up into a tiny ball. Adam quietly coaxed him to curl up against him, needing to hold the much smaller boy in his arms, not only so he could comfort Tommy but also to comfort himself. Holding Tommy made him feel like he was giving him strength and helping him to feel safe and protected. Suddenly, the banging on the front door stopped and the door bell rang. They laid there in silence, wondering what was happening on the other side of the bedroom door. A soft knock to the door caused them to both sit up. “Guys, it’s just me. The police are here and would like to speak to Tommy. They have John.” Tommy shook his head and his breathing began to become labored. “I’ll be out in a few minutes, Isaac. But Tommy is in no condition to talk to the police. At least not right now. This has been too much for him.” They heard Isaac walking away and could hear the low murmur of voices filtering through the door. “I’m gonna go out there and tell them what I know. But, TommyJoe, you are going to have to talk to them if you want him to go to prison for what he did to you.” Tommy nodded his head. “Just not today, Adam. It’s too soon.” Adam kissed him before standing up and heading over to the door. He moved the dresser back into place and opened the door. “You rest while I’m out here. When I come back in, I will rub your back for you.” Tommy smiled at him. “I’d like that.” Adam blew him a kiss and headed out the door, closing it behind him. Tommy counted two minutes in his head before he stood up, went into the bathroom and emptied his breakfast into the toilet. After he flushed, he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He saw how swollen his lip was from when he had bit it but he also saw how dead his eyes looked and wondered if he would ever really see life in them again. He turned off the light and went to lay down and get some rest like Adam had told him to do. He was only laying there a few minutes before he fell into a fitful sleep. The door crashing open woke Tommy, causing him to jump up out of bed and cower in the corner, regardless of the pain in his back. John walked into the bedroom like he owned the place. “You didn’t actually think that the cops could keep me, did you? Not without proof, boy.”


	6. His Punishment... His Release...

Tommy felt tears starting to roll down his cheeks and he tried to make himself smaller. “But you were here and threatening us. How could they release you?” John laughed and took three steps closer to Tommy. “It’s called being released R.O.R. since I have no record. I got a court date but I’ll be long gone by then and so will you. I have a little gift for you. I hope you like it.” John took the remaining steps it took to get to Tommy and dragged him to his feet by his hair. Tommy screamed on pain and tried to pull away but John held tight and started pulling him towards the door. In the hallway, he slammed Tommy against the wall and grabbed him by his arm. “So.. You thought that by running to your boyfriend you’d be safe. Think again.” John drug Tommy into the living room. What Tommy saw drew a cry of anguish out of him. Sutan and Isaac lay on the floor next to each other, blood surrounding them. He could see the gapping wounds on their necks. Tommy couldn’t look away, not able to believe that this was real. A noise to his left caught his attention, suddenly snapping him out of his trance. When he turned towards the sound, what was left of his heart, began to shatter. Adam was tied to a chair, blood dripping down his face from a cut on his head. Tommy tried to get over to him, but the grip that John had on his arm was just too strong. “Adam.” Tommy whispered, the tears flowing freely. John tossed Tommy aside and walked over Adam, yanking his head back, placing a knife to his throat. “You see this, Tommy? This is all your fault. If only you had done what I told you and been the good little slave that I wanted you to be. When slaves are bad, they get punished. This is your punishment.” Tommy screamed Adam’s name and fell forward reaching for him as John ran the knife across Adam’s throat. Blood began to soak the front of Adam’s shirt, turning it red. “Tommy.” Adam whispered as the light faded from his eyes and his head fell forward. Tommy let his body fall limply to the floor and just let out a blood curdling scream. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and it began to shake him. He lashed out at the owner of the hand and continued to scream. He felt a strong pair of arms lifting him up and cradling him against their chest. Soft, soothing words were being whispered in is ear, but he knew it as impossible for it to be the person who owned that voice. When a pair of lips met his and placed a few soft kisses, he began to shake and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw were bright blue eyes, the color of the ocean, looking down at him, worry filling them. “Adam?” Tommy whispered, bring his hand up to touch his face, needing to know if he was really there. Adam hugged Tommy tightly to him, holding Tommy as he cried. “It’s me, baby. It’s me. Oh, baby. Shhh. It’s okay. I’m right here. You’re safe. I’m right here. It’s okay.” Tommy buried his face into Adam’s neck as he clung to the bigger man. “He killed you. Right in front of me. He killed Sutan and Isaac, too. I watched him slit your throat.” Tommy sobbed against Adam’s neck, still having a hard time believing that it was really Adam that was holding him. “No, baby, no. I’m right here. No one hurt me. Look at me. C’mon. Lift your head and look at me.” Tommy slowly lifted his head and looked up at Adam. “It’s me. No one hurt me.” He crushed his lips against Tommy’s, kissing him with all the passion he felt. Tommy responded to the kiss, clinging to Adam, never wanting the kiss to end and wanting Adam to never let him go. When the kiss ended, Adam nodded to him. “Look next to you.” Tommy turned his head to see Sutan and Isaac sitting next to him on the bed. He had never even felt them sit down. Tommy turned and buried his head into Adam’s chest. “Your all still alive. He didn’t kill you. Oh, god.” Sutan and Isaac joined in the hug. “It’s alright now, VayVee. The cops have him. He didn’t hurt us. And he will never hurt you again. We’ll make sure of that.” Sutan whispered, needing to help make Tommy feel safe. Isaac kissed the side of Tommy’s head. “Sutan is right. Your safe now. Everything is going to be okay.” Tommy nodded but stayed buried against Adam, not wanting to ever leave the safety of his arms. “Isaac and I are gonna go and let you two have some time. We will come and get you when dinner is ready. We’re gonna order Mexican like Adam suggested last night. ” Sutan said to them as he and Isaac stood up. Adam smiled and nodded at them, grateful to have such wonderful friends. After they had left the room, Adam shifted to lay Tommy back down onto the bed. Tommy clung to him and began to cry again. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Adam kissed his forehead and laid him down, untangling his arms from around him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m just going to take off my shirt. That’s all I’m doing. And then I will be right back in this bed with you in my arms.” Tommy nodded, still unsure, not wanting Adam to even move off the bed in fear that he could vanish. He watched as Adam pulled his shirt over his head. Tommy sat up and mimicked his action. Adam pulled the blanket over them after lying down and tucked Tommy close to his side. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere. I’m right here next to you and that’s where I am going to stay. How’s your back?” Tommy shrugged. “It hurts but not, like, that bad. Nothing like this morning. And it’s too early to take anything for it.” Adam glanced over Tommy’s shoulder and looked at the clock. “Yeah. You have another hour. Wanna talk about it?” Tommy shook his head. “No. I just wanna forget it. I told you the basic part. That’s all I wanna say. Please don’t make me talk about it anymore.” Adam traced Tommy’s lips with his finger. “Alright. I won’t bring it up again. But if you ever wanna talk about, I will be more than willing to listen. But I do have to say this. When I heard you screaming, I thought my heart was gonna crash out of my chest. I never wanna hear you in that type of pain again. Not mentally, not physically.” Tommy licked his lips and gave Adam a sly smirk. “Then chase that memory away for the both of us. I’m sure you can figure out a way to do that.” Adam returned the smirk. “Yeah. I can think of something.” Adam cupped the back of Tommy’s head and sealed their lips together. Tommy pushed Adam till he was lying on his back and climbed on top of him. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in with his back, but right now he had another ache building that could actually be taken care of. Tommy rested himself on his elbows as he straddle Adam’s hips. Adam kept his one hand on the back of Tommy’s head and placed the other one between Tommy’s shoulder blades. “Touch me.” Tommy muttered against Adam’s lips. He heard Adam moan and decided to turn it up a notch. Tommy ground his hips down, rocking against Adam’s. When Adam felt Tommy’s hard cock rubbing against his, he threw his head back, breaking the kiss and let out a low moan, rocking his hips up. Tommy gasped out and arched his neck back. Adam slid his hand down Tommy’s back till he was cupping his ass, and began to rock Tommy in time with his thrusting. “Oh, fuck, Adam.” Tommy gasped, his eyes closing and his breathing getting heavy. “You alright? Is it too much? Want me to stop?” Tommy shook his head. “No. Don’t stop.” Tommy panted out before he buried his face into Adam’s neck, breathing in his scent in between placing opened mouthed kissed to his skin. Adam tightened his grip on Tommy’s ass and began to rock and thrust harder. Tommy began to moan and his breath hitched as his body started to tense. “That’s it, baby. Let me hear you.” Tommy’s body began to shudder as his orgasm took over. “Adam! Fuck! Adam!” Tommy cried out softly, aware that they weren’t alone in the house and he didn’t want to share this moment with anyone other than the man that he loved more than anything in this world. Adam thrust up a few more times and bit down hard on Tommy’s neck, creating a dark bruise, as he came. Both of them laid there panting. “Oh, fuck! Tommy! That was amazing. I haven’t done that in years.” Tommy giggled and snuggled into Adam’s embrace. “Neither have I. I don’t ever want to move from this spot or for this moment to ever end.” Adam chuckled and hugged Tommy to him. “There will be more moments like these. I can promise you that. But we are going to have to get up soon to clean up. Can’t go down to dinner with cum all over us. We can take a shower together.” Tommy nipped playfully at Adam’s earlobe. “I like that idea. But we need to make sure the water is really hot. That might help my back some. The heating pad that Sutan had given me to use yesterday helped a bit.” Adam rubbed his lower back carefully. “We shouldn’t have just done that when we said we were going to take it slow cause of your back and everything that you have been through. But, I’m not sorry and I wouldn’t change what we just did for the world. I’ll tell you what. We can take a hot shower together and then tonight after dinner, I’m going to run you a hot bath and then I’m going to give you a back massage. How does that sound to you?” Tommy giggled and lifted his head so that he could look at Adam. “Sounds like your going to spoil me.” He said with a cheeky smile. Adam laughed and spanked him on the ass. “Damn straight I am.” Tommy pushed himself off Adam and carefully got to his feet. “Then let’s get started on it.” Adam laughed and got to his feet next to Tommy. “By the time we get out, it should be time for you to take something for your back. And I’m making sure you eat a ton tonight.” Tommy gave him a confused look. “Why?” Adam frowned. “I told you before. You’ve lost too much weight, TommyJoe. You’re way too skinny. I know stress can make it where you can’t eat, but your safe now. There is no need for you to be as stressed anymore. Time to make you healthy again.” Tommy swallowed hard. There was no way he was going to be able to get away with what he used to. “I can’t, Adam. And it’s not because of stress. People only want you if your tiny. Otherwise, no one cares.” Adam just stared at him with his mouth hanging open. Suddenly it hit him what Tommy was saying. “He told you that, didn’t he? He told you that if you weren’t skinny, he and no one else would want you. Am I right?” Tommy just stood there silent, a few tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Adam shook his head. “I get it. Baby, you were perfect the way you were. What he said was a lie and now you’re the one that is paying for it. I will help you the best I can but you have to want the help. If I can’t help you... God, TommyJoe. Last thing I want is for you to end up in the hospital dying from anorexia or bulimia.” Tommy hung his head. “Both, Adam. And I don’t want to be locked away. That would kill me for sure.” Adam pulled Tommy into his arms and hugged him. Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist and hugged him back. “I’m gonna help you through all of this, baby. Your not going to have to face any of this alone.” Tommy pulled back a little and looked at Adam. “Thank you. I...” Adam nodded and gave him a sad smile. “I know. I love you, too. Shall we take our shower so we can get ready for dinner?” Even though he was nervous about eating in front of people and worried he wouldn’t be able to fight the urge to get rid of it, Tommy nodded. As long as Adam was there, he could do anything.


	7. I'll Take Care Of You

Once they were in the bathroom, Adam pulled Tommy in front of him as they stood, looking in the mirror. “We fit so perfectly together.” Adam said softly, placing his arms around Tommy’s waist. Tommy rested his head on Adam’s shoulder and stared back at their reflection. He had to admit that Adam was right, they looked like they were made only to be with each other. Adam flattened his hands on Tommy’s stomach and placed teasing kisses along his shoulder and neck. Tommy’s eyes slid closed and his head fell to the side. “Are you ready for that shower now?” Tommy opened his eyes at Adam’s words. “I think we better, cause with what you were just doing... We would have to make it a cold shower if you kept going.” Adam burst out laughing and rested his forehead on Tommy’s shoulder. Adam let go of Tommy and went over to the shower to turn it on. “Come over here and let me know if the water is hot enough for you.” Tommy put his hand under the water and nodded. “I don’t want it to be too hot for you.” Adam shook his head and smiled at Tommy. “Don’t worry about that. One boiling shower isn’t going to kill me. I want it to be the right temperature for your back. Now, is it?” Tommy turned it a little hotter and then tested it. “That feels good. Are you sure that it’s okay for you? I could quickly shower myself and then you could take a cooler one.” Adam cocked his head at Tommy and raised an eyebrow. “What did I tell you, TommyJoe? I’ll be fine. Okay?” Tommy nodded and straightened up, his back protesting the sudden movement. Adam was to his feet in less than a second, checking Tommy and making sure that he wouldn’t fall. “You alright?” Adam asked, managing to keep the worry out of his voice but not out of his eyes. Tommy ran his hand down Adam’s cheek. “I’m okay. It was a really sharp twinge from bending. I didn’t think when I bent over to fix the water. It hurt a little bit, but more like a dull ache. I’ll be better once I get some of that hot water on it.” Adam let out a heavy sigh. “I’m just worried about you. I can’t help it.” Tommy smiled up shyly at him. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Adam cupped Tommy’s jaw and kissed him passionately, drawing a soft moan out of Tommy. He smiled when he broke the kiss. “Can you get undressed or do you need help?” Tommy smirked at him. “Is that a subtle way of asking if I need you to undress me?” Adam chuckled and gave Tommy a wink. “Take it anyway you want to, baby.” Tommy stepped back and returned the wink. “I’m waiting.” Adam laughed and got down on one knee. He pulled down Tommy’s sweat pants and briefs in one pull. Tommy braced his hands on the counter behind him and lifted one leg at a time to allow Adam to remove them fully. Once he was totally naked, Adam leaned forward and placed kisses on Tommy’s hip bones. He stood up straight and pushed down his own boxers, never breaking eye contact with Tommy. “Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you have any idea what seeing you like this does to me? I have pictured you like this more times than I can count, but this, now, actually seeing you... None of what I imagined can compare.” Tommy blushed and gave Adam a very shy smile. “No one has ever said anything like that to me before. Thank you. And you are beautiful, too. You legs go on forever, your chest is broad and strong, your arms are strong and safe. You’re a beautiful contradiction of soft and hard in all the right places. You’re perfect.” It was Adam’s turn to blush. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” Tommy put a hand around the back of Adam’s neck and pulled him down into a soft kiss. “Let’s get into the shower before we lose all the hot water.” Adam smiled down at him, took his hand and led him into the shower stall. Adam let Tommy stand under the water coming out of the main jet and took one of the secondary jets next to him. He knew that Tommy needed the pressure and heat more than he did. Adam reached for the lather puff and poured some shower jell onto it, squeezing till it made a rich lather. He started to run it lightly over Tommy’s body, washing him clean, not only of the evidence of their time together, but also washing off all the grime from the last day and a half that have ripped him apart. When Tommy felt better, he swore to himself that he will take the time to wash Tommy clean of all the bad memories. Tommy closed his eyes and savored the moment. No one had ever taken care of him before, John had been his first boyfriend. He had always dated women before that, even though he had known since he was twelve that he liked both. So it had always been him to take care of the girls he was with. When it came to John, in the beginning, he spoiled John and took care of him. Then John started to either demand it or he would just ignore Tommy altogether. Never once did he take care of Tommy. “When was the last time someone took care of you, TommyJoe?” Adam asked, eyes soft, a small frown on his lips. Tommy opened his eyes and shook his head. “Never. I mean, my mom did when I was a kid. She bathed me till I could bathe myself, she took care of me when I was sick till I decided that moving out at sixteen was a good idea. You know the story from there.” Adam stepped closer, sharing the spray with Tommy as he wrapped him tightly in his arms. “It’s never going to be like that again. From now on, you have someone that is going to take care of you, show you what it is really like to be loved.” Tommy hugged Adam close to him, resting his head on Adam’s chest. “Can I also take care of you?” Adam brought a hand up, wrapped it in Tommy’s hair and gently tilted his head back. “Would you like that? To take care of me? For us to take care of each other?” Tommy nodded, looking at Adam with nothing but pure love written on his face and showing in his eyes. “Then let’s not wait. Say you’ll be mine and that I am yours. The rest we can work on at your pace, but I don’t want to waste another second of not having the right to kiss you, spoil you, treat you right.” A look of peace fell over Tommy’s face. “Kiss me.” He whispered to Adam, hoping that Adam knew what he was trying to say. The message came across loud and clear. Adam let out a groan and covered Tommy’s lips with his own, loving the shiver that ran through Tommy’s body. Their tongues fought and warred with each other, neither wanting to win, yet nor wanting to lose. Adam nipped Tommy’s lower lip, pulled back from the kiss and rested his forehead against Tommy’s. “I know we said we were going to wait and take things slow, but what I think we should have agreed on was to just go at whatever pace feels right at the time.” Adam said with a laugh. Tommy joined in and nodded his head. “I agree. So, how about we make that the rule now? That is... Unless, you.. You know. Unless you changed your mind.” Adam’s jaw dropped. “What? No! No, of course not. Nothing could ever make me change my mind about wanting to be with you. What could ever possibly have made you think that?” Tommy shrugged his shoulders and kept his gaze to the floor of the shower. “I come with so much baggage. Most people wouldn’t wanna take that on. You know?” Adam tucked a finger under Tommy’s chin and lifted his head. “Everyone has baggage. Some just more than others. Don’t think of me as anyone other than me. I want nothing more than to be with you, and, if that means taking on more, so be it. I can handle anything you throw at me. As long as you come with it.” Tommy smiled at Adam and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “Then, here I am.” Adam kissed the tip of Tommy’s nose. “Let’s finish up in here before we use all of Sutan’s hot water. Last thing I want is for him to go all Raja on me for stealing it all in case he wants to shower later.” Adam joked as he stepped back under the secondary jet. Tommy picked up a bottle of shampoo and poured some into his hand as he watched Adam begin to wash his body. “I meant what I said before, Adam. You’re beautiful.” Adam smiled at Tommy, watching him lather his hair. “I meant it, too, TommyJoe. I have never seen anyone like you before.” Tommy tilted his head back to rinse the shampoo out of his hair as he spoke. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Adam reached for the shampoo, bumping Tommy’s hand accidentally when he reached for the conditioner. “Sorry. Actually, it’s a really great thing. I wouldn’t want anyone to be like you. When I say that you are beautiful, I don’t just mean on the outside. You are beautiful on the inside like no one else. I have never seen anyone want to do nothing but give and not take. Even if it is the smallest thing.” Tommy looked over at Adam, hoping that the water was washing away the tears that Adam’s words were causing to fall. He wasn’t so lucky. “Baby, why are you crying?” Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “I guess, since I’ve never been told anything like this, it’s just getting to me. It makes me feel more special than I am. You say that I always give yet never take, but your wrong. I’m taking right now. Your taking care of me, making me feel wanted, loved. And yet.. I can’t even say the three words that you deserve to hear. How is that fair, Adam?” Adam put down the conditioner bottle he had just picked up and took Tommy into his arms instead. “Now you stop it, TommyJoe. I didn’t say those things to make you feel bad. I said them cause they are the truth and they come from my heart. Your hurting right now and I want to take care of you. If anything, its me taking from you. I’m taking the fact that your willing to let me do these things for you. You didn’t offer or ask me to do them. I offered and asked if I could and you simply gave me permission. You GAVE me the right to do these things for you, to help you heal, to show you love. There is nothing greedy or selfish about it. We all need someone who loves us to take care of us from time to time. And from what I’ve have seen and heard...You NEED this right now, so let me do it. Okay? And learn that I will never tell you anything I don’t mean. Same as when we were only friends. I’m not going to lie to you ever, TommyJoe. I need you to believe that. I’m not saying that if I, like, plan a surprise for you, that I won’t tell a few little falsehoods here and there to be able to keep it a surprise, because I so would. What I’m saying is that when it comes to life, things between us, big things, important things and just everything else in general.. I won’t lie to you. Now... Rinse your hair so I can condition and rinse mine, and think about what I just said. Oh, and, uh, one other thing. You don’t have to tell me that you love me. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. I know that you have been hurt and betrayed and it may take years before you are able to say the words, if ever. I can handle that. I know in my heart that you love me as much as I love you. You just say it when your ready. Not before, okay.” Tommy placed a hand over Adam’s heart and felt it beating just as he heard it. It told him all that he needed to know. “Okay. It’s just that this is all new to me and I don’t know how to accept it and I don’t want to fuck it up.” Adam rubbed his hand lovingly up and down Tommy’s back, avoiding the bruises. “You won’t fuck it up cause I’m never gonna let you forget that I love you and that it’s okay to accept my love.” Tommy lifted his head and stepped back under the water, letting it rinse away the conditioner and his tears. He continued to stand under the water while Adam rinsed his hair, the heat and beating pressure working wonders on his back. Adam smiled as he watched Tommy, his eyes closed, mouth open, head bowed forward, back curved in a slight arch. The boy didn’t realize that he was sex personified. Adam shook his head to clear his thoughts. The last thing that he needed right now was to get hard. “You ready to get out, TommyJoe?” Tommy smiled and turned off the water. “I was just waiting for you.” He answered with a smile, the type of smile that always made Adam fall in love with him a little bit more. Adam opened the shower door and stepped out, holding his hand out for Tommy. “Such a gentleman. Keep this up and I might turn into one of those prissy boys who act like a Southern Belle instead of a man.” Tommy joked. Adam burst out laughing so hand that he was bent over, coughing, only a few seconds after starting the laugh. “Are you okay?” Tommy asked, giggling. When Adam finally managed to get his coughing under control and caught his breath, he nodded and stood up straight. “You are too much, TommyJoe. Do me a favor and never change.” Tommy stepped up to Adam and handed him a towel with a quick kiss. “I promise. Now let’s get dried off before Sutan comes looking for us and starts worrying.” A tap on the open door caused both of them to jump. “A little too late for that. If it wasn’t for the bedroom being a sauna from all the steam filling it from the door being open, I probably would’ve called the police to report you guys missing.” Sutan said in his best Raja voice before cracking a smile. “God, I love when I make pretty boys so speechless that they just stand there naked, gapping like goldfish. Get dried, dressed and downstairs. Food will be here in about half an hour. Oh, and, um, Adam..... We need to have a little talk after dinner.” As Sutan walked away, Adam and Tommy looked at each other. “What was all of that about?” Tommy asked Adam as he slowly began to dry himself off. Adam gave Tommy a small frown as he rubbed the towel briskly through his hair. “I think I have an idea. I think he knows about what transpired between us and I am about to get read the riot act about not taking advantage of you.” Adam pointed to Tommy’s neck as he spoke. Tommy looked in the mirror and saw the bruise from when Adam had bit him earlier. He shook his head and tossed his towel onto the drying rack. “Not if I can help it.” Before Adam could ask him what he meant, Tommy walked into the bedroom. Adam followed him, watching him pull on clean clothes. “TommyJoe, what are you about to do?” Tommy finished pulling his shirt over his head and walked over to where the painkillers were. Opening a bottle, he poured two out into his hand and closed the lid. He showed Adam that he only had two in his hand and headed towards the door. “Just going and taking these. And seeing what the fuck Sutan meant by that.” With that said, Tommy headed out the door, leaving Adam staring after him, shaking his head.


	8. Just As Things Start To Change For The Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these are going up so, but health problems and weather problems - heavy snow and ice - have played key factors. Hope to make a better come back in the future updates.

Tommy walked into the kitchen, grabbed a soda out of the fridge and swallowed the pills. He had just placed his soda down on the counter when Isaac rushed up to him and tilted his head to the side, baring his neck. “What the fuck, Tommy? Where the hell did that come from?” Sutan walked in just in time to hear Isaac’s questions. “Why don’t you ask Adam? He sure moved in on Tommy pretty fast. Caught them getting out of the shower together with that on his neck.” Tommy turned around and glared at Sutan, inner rage he didn’t even know he had been feeling, coming up to the surface. “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE, SUTAN. I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING. ADAM EVEN ASKED ME IF I WANTED HIM TO STOP, SO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME HIM. IT WASN’T ANYTHING THAT I DIDN’T WANT. AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW FULLY WHAT HAPPENED.” Tommy shouted, breathing heavy. The room started to suddenly swim and then it went black. Isaac managed to catch Tommy before he hit the ground. “Oh fuck. Get Adam!” Isaac yelled at Sutan, snapping him out of his shocked state. Just as Sutan turned to get Adam, he came running into the kitchen. “What happened?” Adam asked as he dropped down onto the floor next to where Isaac was holding Tommy. “I asked him about his neck and Sutan said something about you knowing. Tommy flipped. I’ve never seen him even get annoyed with, let alone scream at, Sutan. Next thing we knew, he was crashing down. I think when I caught him, I hit his back. I am so sorry.” Adam stood up and picked Tommy up out of Isaac’s arms. “It’s alright. Its better that you hit the bruises trying to keep him from falling then him hitting the floor and doing worse damage. Thank you.” Isaac nodded and followed Adam out to the living room where he laid Tommy down on the couch. He brushed Tommy’s still wet hair out of his face and took his hand in his. He kissed Tommy’s knuckles and felt a tear slide down is cheek. “C’mon, baby. I need you to wake-up. Sutan, what exactly did you say to him?” Adam asked, never taking his eyes off Tommy. “Isaac asked Tommy what happened to his neck, where did he get the bruise. I took my snide remark too far and I am sorry. I told him that he should ask you, that you moved in on Tommy fast. Tommy started screaming at me and the next thing I saw was Isaac catching him right before he hit the floor. I didn’t mean to upset him, Adam, I swear. I just think it’s too soon for him and you to be getting into anything serious.” Adam shook his head and kissed Tommy’s hand again and held it against his chest. “I kissed him but only after he started flirting with me. He’s the one that pushed me onto my back and climbed on me. Yeah, we got each other off, but you can’t tell me that neither of you have never had something really bad happen in your life where you needed that as stress relief. And before you get any ideas in your heads, no, it wasn’t a one off and we didn’t fuck. I could never have just a one off with him nor would I even think about sex with how hurt he is, mentally and physically. When Tommy wakes up, and after we have eaten because he really needs to put some weight back on, I’ll ask him if he wants you to know what is going on between us. Okay?” Adam asked, looking up at Sutan. Isaac placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder and nodded to Tommy. “He’s waking up.” Adam used his other hand to lightly stroke Tommy’s cheek with his knuckles. “Baby?” Tommy’s eyes blinked open and he looked at Adam. “What happened?” Adam frowned. “You yelled at Sutan for what he said to Isaac and then you passed out. I think all the stress mixed with the pain killers, your insomnia and lack of eating finally took its toll on you. You need to take better care of yourself, baby.” The doorbell ringing caused all of them to jump. Tommy began looking around, eyes wide in fear. “It’s okay, Tommy. That’s just dinner. Remember I told you before that we were ordering Mexican?” Tommy let out a shaky breath and nodded, looking up at Sutan. “Adam, help Tommy sit up and get comfortable. Sutan, go get dinner. I’ll go get plates and that.” Isaac said as he headed towards the kitchen. Sutan walked over to the door and glanced out, making sure that it was the delivery guy before he opened the door. Adam smiled down at Tommy. “Think you can sit up long enough to eat? Isaac is worried that when he caught you, that he may have hurt your back.” Tommy, with Adam’s help, managed to sit up. “It feels a bit sore, but not like he hurt me.” Isaac stopped as he hit the doorway to the living room. “Who hurt you?” Tommy smiled at his best friend and shook his head. “No one. Adam said you were worried you might have hurt my back but I was letting him know that you didn’t hurt me, that my back is just sore. It’s to be expected. I was gonna tell you when you got back in here to not worry.” A relieved look passed over Isaac’s face. “Thank god. I thought that I may have hurt you more but I was more afraid that if you hit the floor, you could’ve gotten some serious damage. You sure that your alright?” Tommy nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Plus, Adam promised me a hot bath and a massage after dinner.” He glanced at Adam and gave him a wink. Adam moved to sit on the couch next to Tommy as Isaac passed out the plates and the silverware. “That I did.” Adam confirmed and kissed Tommy on his shoulder. “I wasn’t sure what everyone wanted to drink, so, I’ll take the orders now.” Isaac joked as Sutan came over to the coffee table, setting the bags down. “I think we should just stick with soda or water, since it wouldn’t be fair to Tommy if we had alcohol and he can’t.” Tommy frowned. “Not even a beer?” Adam hugged Tommy to him. “Nice try but not a chance. Until you have a bit more weight on you, your eating right and not on pain killers, no alcohol.” Tommy rolled his eyes and smirked at Adam. “Okay, dad. Any other rules?” Adam returned the smirk. “Keep up with the smart mouth and I’ll bend you over my knee.” Tommy looked up at Adam and batted his eyes. “Is that a promise?” Isaac groaned and rolled his eyes. “Oh, god. Okay, not that I want to break up this flirting here, but I do want to eat at some point. What’s everyone’s drink order?” Tommy and Adam burst out laughing as Tommy snuggled into Adam’s chest. “I’ll finish my soda and then have water. You?” Tommy replied and looked up at Adam. “Water.” Sutan sat down on the opposite couch. “I think I’ll make it water, too.” Isaac shrugged. “Four waters and half a soda coming up.” As he walked back into the kitchen, Sutan began unpacking the food. “I wasn’t sure what the two of you would want, so I got a little bit of everything.” Tommy’s stomach started growling as the different smells began to fill the air. “Whatever you did order smells great. Thank you.” Sutan smiled at him. “Anytime. And I’m sorry for upsetting you before. I never meant for that to happen. I read into things and I shouldn’t have. I should’ve waited until I talked to you guys about it.” Tommy held up his hand. “You were just trying to look out for me. It’s okay. I’m sorry I screamed at you like that. I don’t even know why I got so mad.” Isaac walked in and handed out the water and then gave Tommy his soda. “I was actually just thinking about that. Maybe everything that you have been dealing with just finally exploded and you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Couldn’t blame ya, if that’s what it was. I know I would’ve exploded a long time ago.” Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “Either way... I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Sutan stood up and walked over, kneeling in front of Tommy. “Let’s just work at getting you better. We can forget that it ever happened. How does that sound?” Tommy moved out of Adam’s arms and hugged Sutan, loving how it felt to know that the four of them shared a friendship so strong that nothing could separate them. “I told them that if you felt up to if after we ate, and if you wanted to, that is, we would tell them what went on between us and what we decided to do.” Tommy leaned back against Adam, nodding into his neck. “I’d like it if they knew. I don’t want to hide things anymore. Especially something like this.” Adam kissed the top of Tommy’s head and rested his cheek on it. Sutan and Isaac glanced at each other, not even sure if Adam or Tommy, at that moment, even remembered that they were in the room. “I hate to break this up, but we should eat now before everything gets cold.” Tommy sat up slowly so not to aggravate his back. “I want to just chow down but it’s been so long since I really ate, that I don’t want to get sick.” Adam took Tommy’s plate and scooped some rice onto it. He added a soft taco and a burrito before handing it to Tommy. “This should be good. If your hungry later, we can always heat some of it up in the microwave.” Tommy took his plate from Adam and sat it on his lap, deciding to finish his soda first. He took his first bite of the taco and couldn’t stop the moan that came out of him. “This is so good. Thank you, guys.” The three of them looked at each other and then at Tommy, bursting out into laughter. “What? What did I say?” Adam picked up a napkin and wiped the hot sauce off his nose and chin. “Are you always such a messy eater?” Tommy blushed and joined into the laughter. “I can be at times.” Adam leaned over till his mouth was level with Tommy’s ear. “Promise to be a messy eater when we’re alone?” Tommy choked on his water he had just taken a sip of. Isaac looked up at the sound of Tommy choking on his water. “Man, dude, you okay?” Sutan laughed. “I think our dear Adam said something to Tommy that he wasn’t expecting.” As Sutan’s words registered with Tommy, he began to blush a darker shade of red. Tommy’s blushing didn’t escape Isaac’s notice. “I think your right. Either he forgot how to be a man and take the hot sauce or Adam just insinuated something a little nasty-nasty to him.” Adam rubbed Tommy’s back, looking sheepish. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you choke like that. I just wanted to tease you a bit.” Tommy cleared his throat and took another sip of his water. He leaned back and nuzzled into Adam’s neck. He waited until he saw Adam about to take a drink and got his payback. “What ever you do, baby... Don’t picture me naked with your cum dripping down my chin.” He whispered straight into Adam’s ear.


	9. Tommy Doesn't Keep A Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it is taking so long to post the chapters, but I have been really sick and in/out of the hospital. I should be updating more often soon. Love to all of you.

Tommy couldn’t help but burst out laughing when Adam spit his water all over himself. Sutan and Isaac looked on amused, wondering what Tommy could have said to get that reaction out of Adam. “Okay, I guess I had that coming. No more until we have finished eating and are alone. I think that Isaac wouldn’t appreciate it if he heard the things we are saying. Sutan on the other hand....” Adam trailed off, giving Tommy a knowing wink. “I agree with Adam. I can take the flirting but I really don’t want to hear dirty talk while I’m eating.” Isaac laughed out. Tommy winked at Isaac. “Oh, c’mon, sexy. You know you love it when I talk dirty.” Isaac barked out a laugh. “Only when we’re alone, cupcake.” Adam let out a giggle. “Cupcake? I’m gonna have to remember that one.” Tommy turned and gave him a mock glare. “If you ever want in my pants, you will forget you ever even thought of using that name on me.” Sutan let out a chuckle. “Oh, Adam, my dear. Already getting threatened with not getting any. Not a good sign so early on, my boy.” Adam rolled his eyes and flipped Sutan off. Tommy kissed the side of Adam’s neck “Don’t worry, baby. I wouldn’t be like that to you.” Adam turned his head and Tommy met him in a heated kiss. Sutan and Isaac both let out cat-calls, teasing the two of them with calls of ‘get a room’. They broke the kiss, both blushing and the two of them flipping them off at the same time. This only caused Isaac and Sutan to laugh harder. “Are we gonna eat or joke all night?” Adam asked in an amused voice. It took a few minutes for the laughter to settle down, but when it did, they resumed eating, making light conversation. When dinner was finished, Sutan and Adam cleaned up and loaded the dishwasher, letting Tommy and Isaac have some time alone to talk. “Are you sure that you’re doing the right thing, Adam? I’m not saying I have anything against you being with Tommy. I just mean, right now, while everything is still fresh and we don’t know what’s gonna happen, do you think it’s a smart idea?” Adam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I understand what your saying, but I love him. And he loves me. I can help him through this, help him move on. He trusts me, trusts us. He might be in a bad way right now, but he’s not stupid. He knows what he wants, he knows what he’s getting into. I’m not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.” Sutan hugged Adam. “I know you wouldn’t. I just want what’s best for the two of you.” Adam hugged him back and together they walked into the living room. Isaac was sitting on the couch next to Tommy, who looked like he was about to cry. Adam rushed over to him and pulled him into his arms. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Tommy nodded and sniffled. “It’s stupid, really.” Adam shook his head and smoothed Tommy’s hair away from his face. “No, baby. Nothing that could make you cry is stupid. What is it?” Tommy nuzzled his head into Adam’s shoulder. “When I packed, I was so upset and hurting so bad that I forgot to pack the shirt you bought me when we first met. It was in the dryer.” Adam rubbed his hand up and down Tommy’s back and held him close. “Baby, I can get you another shirt, if you want.” Tommy shook his head, tears falling. “It won’t be the same.” Adam looked up at Sutan who knew what Adam was thinking. He shook his head, mentally trying to will Adam into not doing what he had in mind. “Baby, we will think of something. How about you stop crying, we tell the guys our good, no, great news and then I go and give you that bath and massage, huh?” Tommy sniffled and nodded his head. Sutan handed Tommy a few tissues so he could dry his face and blow his nose. “You gonna be okay, VayVee?” Tommy nodded but stayed in Adam’s arms. “It just really upset me when I remembered that it was in the dryer. But, if Adam says that we can think of something, that’s good enough for me.” Sutan nodded and moved to sit on the other couch. “So, what is this big news you have for us?” Adam looked down at Tommy. “Mind if I tell them everything that has gone on between us so they know the whole story?” Tommy shook his head, more than willing to let Adam do the talking. Isaac patted his lap, letting Tommy know that he could put his feet up so he could be more comfortable. Tommy gave him a thankful smile and carefully brought his feet up. Curled on his sided relieved most of the strain his back was feeling. ‘Comfortable, baby?” Tommy nodded and snuggled under Adam’s arm. “Last night when Tommy and I went to bed, he told me that he’s in love with me. I know that right now he’s not able to say those direct words to me but I am more than okay with that. When he’s ready and the time is right, it will mean more than anything else has ever meant to me in this world and he knows that. I finally told him that I was in love with him, too. That was when we shared our first kiss. We talked a little bit more about things and, yeah, we did kiss again. Then, as you know, this morning, his back was really bad. After he managed to move, we did kiss a bit more before we came down for breakfast. That’s when he called and Tommy and I went to the bedroom. After he had that nightmare while I was out here talking to the police, he joked around with me. He said he was sure that there was a way I could make us both forget that he had that dream. That’s when I kissed him and things went to a whole new level. Tommy pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me. I’m sure you can figure out what happened from there. Except for our shirts being off, we still had clothing on, before you even ask, Isaac.” Adam gave a laugh when Isaac blushed and then continued. “I suggested a hot shower, not only to wash off in, but that the hot water beating down on his back might help his back. We talked some more in the shower and here we are now after a delicious dinner. Tommy told me some things that the bastard said and did to make him so unsure and timid and about why he’s so thin. We had said last night that we were going to take it really slow, but that didn’t turn out as planned. So, in the shower, we decided that we would work everything out as a couple and let things happen as they happen. We agreed to not rush into anything but we wouldn’t stop things if they felt right for the both of us. That’s about it. Did I miss anything, baby?” Tommy nodded his head and tightened his arm around Adam’s waist. “You forgot to tell them how you plan on spoiling me rotten and turning me into a Southern Belle priss.” Adam and Tommy started laughing while Isaac and Sutan sat there looking at the two of them like they had lost their minds. When they finally stopped laughing, Sutan looked at them seriously. “Are you sure this is what you want? The both of you? You know that it isn’t going to be easy.” They both nodded. “As far as I am concerned, I want to be with Tommy any way I can be. He’s going to need a lot of support and I can give that to him. Being with him just makes it easier.” Tommy nodded his head again. “Adam is right. We know that it is going to be hard, but us being together, will make it easier. I know that it’s not going to be all happy and simple all the time, but I know that I can trust that Adam is nothing like John and that I don’t have to be scared anymore.” Isaac nodded at Sutan, letting him know that he felt that maybe what Adam and Tommy had decided to do was the right thing for them to do, that it might not work if it was other people but that they could pull it off. “I think that it’s time for that bath I owe you and then the massage. It’s getting late and I want you to get a good night’s sleep tonight. After your bath, it should be time for your last dose of meds. I wanna try cutting you down to one pill a dose tomorrow.” Tommy nodded and slowly lowered his feet to the floor. He winced when he sat up straight but the pain wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier in the day. “I think I can do that. I mean, it still hurt and everything but nothing like yesterday or this morning. I think the shower helped more than I thought it would.” Adam kissed the side of his head before standing up. “Then the bath will do wonders for it. Have a good night, guys. We’ll see you in the morning.” Tommy took the hand that Adam held out and let him help him to his feet. “Have a good night and thank you for everything. I really don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you guys here for me.” Isaac and Sutan both stood up and the four of them shared a group hug. “We love you, Tommy, and we want you to be safe, happy and healthy. Now, go let this gorgeous man slave on you hand and foot.” Sutan said in a teasing tone, loving the fact that two of his best friends had found love in each other. He did have a slight feeling that they were moving too fast, but if this is what worked for them and it kept them happy, he could deal with that. Adam mock bowed and tugged on Tommy’s hand. Tommy looked up at Adam, nothing but pure love in his eyes, and followed his lead. Once they were in the bedroom, Adam closed the door and let go of Tommy’s hand, only to pull him into a deep kiss with a hand tangled in his hair. Tommy looped his arms around Adam’s neck and pressed in close, savoring the kiss. “”I’ll go get the bath ready. You grab what your gonna sleep in and meet me in there.” Adam whispered against his lips, not wanting to break the romantic feeling of the moment. Tommy nuzzled his nose along the underside of Adam’s jaw. “Join me in the bath? The tub is big enough for four people.” Tommy asked in between placing kisses along Adam’s neck. “That might not be the best idea. I’m trying really hard to take things slow, to not rush them. It was hard enough in the shower and it’s going to be hell in bed next to you. I’m no saint, TommyJoe.” Tommy nipped sharply on Adam’s left collarbone. “No one said you had to be a saint. I know what I’m ready for and what I’m not. There are things that we can do until I’m ready for more, Adam.” Adam cupped Tommy’s face in his hands and looked him deeply in the eyes. “I know you know your limits. It’s just.. I don’t want to seem like him. Baby, he forced you to..... do things..... with him. I just don’t want you to regret anything between us. Or to be reminded of him and flashback to those things.” Tommy placed his hands on Adam’s chest and smiled up at him, his eyes still looked dead but a small light starting to glow. “I know you’re not him. You could never be like him and I would NEVER, in anyway, think that you were. If we do things, I’ll know it’s you and me wanting to. No flashbacks, no reminders, and NO regrets. Even putting my back aside, I’m not ready for us to go all the way. But there are other things that we can do. And it’s not like we’re jumping into anything here. We’ve known each other for three years. We’ve shared a bed I can’t even remember how many times, snuggled up watching movies, and other then my stupidity hiding what I was going through the last year or so, we’ve told each other everything about ourselves. So, it’s, like, we did our dating before getting together.” Adam laughed at the way Tommy described their relationship, about how right he was, and how neither of them had noticed it before now. “What am I going to do with you, TommyJoe? Alright, we can do things your way, BUT only AFTER your back has healed. I don’t want to risk anything hurting you.” Tommy nodded and placed a kiss over Adam’s heart. “Does that mean your still not gonna take the bath with me?” Adam let out an exasperated sigh. “You win. I’ll take it with you. I know I’ll never be able to say no to you.” Tommy smiled up at Adam and tugged the hem of his shirt. “Then go get the bath ready. I’ll bring in your sleep pants when I come in.” Adam kissed Tommy on the forehead and headed towards the bathroom. Once Adam was out of sight, Tommy began to scratch at his wrist, the urge to cut having gotten stronger as the day had gone by. Determined not to cut, Tommy checked to make sure that Adam couldn’t see him and took four pain killers out of one of the bottles and swallowed them dry. He knew Adam would give him two more after the bath, that they would knock him out and he wouldn’t have to think about cutting. He knew that it wasn’t the best solution to the situation, but right now, it was all he had. He didn’t want to put this on Adam when he had already just put so much on him. Suddenly, he felt sick to his stomach. He was doing the one thing he had promised he was done doing : keeping secrets. Tommy grabbed his and Adam’s stuff and went into the bathroom. “Adam?” Adam looked up from where he was filing the tub. Soon as he saw the look on Tommy’s face, he jumped up and rushed over to him. “What’s wrong?” Tommy bit his lips, tears threatening to spill. “I took the pain killers early. I wasn’t gonna tell you, I was gonna triple up on them.” Adam frowned. “Is your back that bad? And what do you mean by triple up? How many did you take?” Tommy shook his head. “Remember how last night I said I had the urge to cut? The urge is still there and it’s stronger than last night. I took the pills to try and stem the need to cut. I figured, if I was doped up, it would fade to the background. But then I felt bad, that I was not only going to be lying, but that the lie would also include me keeping a secret. I couldn’t do it. I took four, wanting them to just block everything out and to put me to sleep. Figured that I would sleep deep and maybe in the morning, I wouldn’t feel the need to cut.” Adam pulled Tommy to him and hugged him close. “I’m glad you told me. I know how hard this has to be for you and I am so proud of you for telling me the truth. We’ll work on this together.” Tommy wrapped his arms tightly around Adam. “What did I ever do to deserve you? To deserve your love and support?” Adam closed his eyes as they filled with tears. He wanted to kill John for making Tommy doubt himself so much, to not see what he was worth and to stop believing that he deserved love and happiness. “You deserve it because you’re thoughtful, loving, beautiful, caring, selfless and just the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. You need to get out of this mind set where you think so down about yourself. And I’m going to help you do that. Now, time for you to get undressed and into the tub. I better go and turn off the water before it manages to overflow.” Adam joked, letting go of Tommy to check the level of the water. Tommy could see the steam rising off the water and knew that it would be heaven. Tommy slowly stripped off the clothes he was wearing and walked over to the tub, letting Adam help him in. After he was settled, Adam stood up and removed his clothes as well. Tommy watched, a question gnawing away at him but not wanting to ruin the moment, he kept quiet. It was like Adam could read into his mind and see when things were bothering him. As Adam stepped into the tub, Tommy slid forward so that Adam would be able to fit in behind him. He settled back against Adam’s chest, sighing in comfort and contentment. “What’s on your mind?” Adam asked, wrapping his arms snugly around Tommy. “What do you mean?” Adam placed a few light kisses on his shoulder. “You got really quiet. I could just tell that there was something on your mind.” Tommy just shook his head slightly. “It’s like you can get into my mind, I swear. Your right, there is something on my mind. Why aren’t you mad at me for taking four pills? I mean, I know that they aren’t gonna kill me. I took four yesterday at one time. But that just seems like something that you should be upset about.” Adam hugged Tommy against him and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I am upset about it but it wouldn’t change the fact that you took them. No point in being mad because you were honest about it and didn’t hide it from me. I wish that you had come to me before you had taken them and told me what was bothering you, but, at least you didn’t cut and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.” Adam shifted Tommy slightly in his arms so he could bring Tommy’s right arm up to his lips. He trailed kisses along all the cuts and scars that littered Tommy’s arm, stopping to suck gently on the pulse point. Tommy’s breath stuttered as his eyes fell closed and his head fell back against Adam’s shoulder. “Adam.” Tommy moaned, pleasure thrumming through his body. Adam trailed the kisses up along Tommy’s arm, over his shoulder and up his neck. “You have no idea how much I love you and how hard it is to not just claim you, make you mine. Fuck, TommyJoe.. The things you do to me and have been doing to me for three years now.” Tommy turned his head and met Adam’s lips in a passionate kiss. “I know how much you love me, how much you want me and have wanted me because I feel the same way. If things weren’t so messed up right now, I would be begging you to take me, right here, right now.” Adam lowered Tommy’s arm into the water and reached for the knob on the side of the tub to turn the jets on. “Soon enough. You just lay back and relax, let the heat sink into your bones. If you fall asleep, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to get out.” Tommy crossed his hands over Adam’s and just let his body relax. “You wouldn’t mind if I fell asleep?” Adam pursed his lips for a second and shook his head. “Nah. Gives me time to just hold you and know that I don’t have to let you go.” A small smile tugged up the corners of Tommy’s mouth, showing how happy he really felt. “Just as long as I don’t have to let you go either.” A smile touched Adam’s lips that matched Tommy’s. “Never.” It wasn’t long before Adam felt Tommy’s whole body relax and knew that Tommy had, indeed, fallen asleep. It made Adam’s chest fill with pride knowing he could make Tommy feel safe and secure enough that he didn’t feel the need to be on guard. And that was a trust that Adam never planned on losing. Adam slowly opened his eyes to see a sleepy but amused Tommy staring down at him from the ledge of the tub. “Thought you were going to wake me up if I fell asleep when it was time to get out. Yet, there you are, sleeping on the job.” Adam blinked a few times while Tommy sat there grinning and giggling. “How long were we asleep for?” Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “I have no clue. I woke-up having to use the bathroom. Tried waking you then, but you were dead to the world. I think the only reason I got you up this time was dripping cold water on your chest.” That’s when Adam noticed the cup in Tommy’s hand. “Oh, so I see how it is. I keep you nice and warm and you try to freeze me to death.” Adam said, glaring at Tommy, only there was no heat in his eyes. Before Tommy could react, Adam was kneeling up in the tub grabbing for the cup. While they laughed and played tug of war with the cup, it ended up splashing cold water all over Tommy’s bare chest and soaking the towel he had around his waist. He let out a high pitched squeal and let go of the cup. “No fair, Lambert. You know I hate cold.” Adam sat the cup on the side of the tub and stood up. “Give me a towel and then we can get into bed. I’ll let you steal all the body heat you need to warm up. You look like your ready to pass out on me here. Want me to just give you the massage tomorrow morning?” Tommy yawned and nodded his head. “That sound perfect cause I am about to fall asleep. Plus, this way in case my muscles stiffen during the night, the massage will help to sort them out.” Tommy told him as he handed Adam a dry towel. He stood up and took off the damp towel so he could pull on a pair of sleep pants and a beater. Adam watched him closely as he dried off. He didn’t want to mother Tommy and annoy him, but he wanted to make sure that he didn’t get dizzy or anything and fall. “Why don’t you head into the bedroom and get into bed. I’ll drain the tub and be right in.” Tommy grabbed his toothbrush. “I will as soon as I brush.” Adam smiled at how much like a kid Tommy looked like in the baggy clothes, messy hair and being half asleep. Adam flipped the drain switch on the tub and hung his towel on the rack. As he reached for his pants, Tommy flicked cold water in his direction. Adam yelped and jumped back, pants in hand. “Keep it up and I’ll bend you over, I swear I will.” Tommy spit the toothpaste out and quickly rinsed his mouth. “Like this?” Tommy pulled his sleep pants down and bent slightly over the counter. Adam groaned inwardly at the sight before him. He bent over and bit Tommy’s left ass cheek. Tommy bit his lower lip to keep the moan in that was threatening to come out. Adam stood up and pulled Tommy’s pants up. “Off to bed with you. I swear that you’re going to be the death of me one of these days, TommyJoe.” Tommy turned around and gave Adam a smirk. “What a way to go, though.” Adam rolled his eyes and pointed towards the bedroom. Tommy continued to smirk as he walked out of the room. Adam shook his head and smiled to himself. If Tommy hadn’t been hurt and going through so much, what he had just done, would’ve been Adam’s breaking point. No one had ever affected him as much as Tommy did. Shaking his head clear, he pulled on his sleep pants and turned off the lights. As he walked into the bedroom, he saw Tommy just curling up under the covers. Not wanting a repeat of the night before, when Adam sat down on the bed, he immediately turned off the light. He stretched out in the bed and smiled as he felt Tommy pulling the covers over the two of them. “Thanks, baby. You comfortable?” Tommy snuggled against Adam and wrapped his arm around his waist. “Once I get a g’night kiss, then I will be.” Adam chuckled and lifted his head off the pillow. They shared a few soft, tender kisses before Tommy rested his head down on Adam chest. Adam wrapped one arm around Tommy’s waist and placed his other hand on the arm Tommy had around his waist. “Good night, baby. I love you.” Tommy tightened his arm around Adam’s waist in a type of hug. “I know. Same here.” Adam returned the hug and closed his eyes.


	10. The Setback

It was still dark out when Adam woke. At first, he couldn’t figure out what had wakened him, but then he heard it.... Small, tiny whimpers coming from Tommy. He rolled over and pulled Tommy into his arms, holding him tight against his chest. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m right here and you’re safe. C’mon, baby. It’s okay.” He used his hand to smooth back Tommy’s hair and kept whispering softly in his ear. Tommy jerked suddenly and jumped from the bed, fleeing across the room, holding his hands out in front of him as if trying to stop something from coming near him. Adam got out of bed and slowly walked towards him, holding his hands out, palm side up. “TommyJoe? Baby? Are you okay?” With the help of the light from the moon, he could see Tommy shaking his head. “Please don’t hurt me. I can’t let it happen. I’m so sorry.” It suddenly occurred to Adam that Tommy wasn’t seeing him, that he was seeing John. He sunk down to his knees and continued to hold his hands out. “Listen to my voice, TommyJoe. You’re okay, you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.” Tommy backed up a little more, his breathing harsh. “I’m sorry, John. I just can‘t let it happen. Please, don’t hurt me.” It broke Adam’s heart to see Tommy like this. He knew that until Tommy snapped out of this vision he was having, this living nightmare, there was nothing he could do. Tommy backed up until his back was against the dresser. He reached behind him and into the side pocket of his bag. Once he found what he was looking for, he took off into the bathroom, slammed and locked the door. Adam sat there in shock, not knowing what to do. If he knocked on the door, would it upset Tommy even more or would it snap him out of the mind set he was in. Unsure what to do, Adam got up to get Isaac and Sutan, to see what they thought he should do. Before he made it out the door, he heard a thud in the bathroom and Tommy crying out. Without even thinking, Adam kicked in the door. If Tommy had hurt himself by falling enough to cry out, the only thing Adam could think of was to get to him. It was dark in the bathroom and Adam reached blindly for the light. When he flipped it on, his whole world started crashing down around him. Tommy lay on the floor, blood pooling around him, coming from his wrist. “ISAAC! SUTAN! I NEED HELP!” Adam screamed at the top of his lungs as he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Tommy’s wrist, trying to stop the bleeding. He could see blood coming from his other arm but the cuts looked superficial. He heard the crashing of the bedroom door flying open. “Adam, what the fuck....” Sutan’s voice trailed off as he took in the scene in front of him. “Call 911. I can’t stop the bleeding.” Adam’s voice cracked as tears streamed down his face. Isaac rushed out of the room to call while Sutan dropped down next to Adam and Tommy. “What happened? What caused this?” Sutan asked in a whisper, cradling Tommy’s head on his lap, neither of them caring that Tommy’s blood was getting all over them. “I woke-up to him whimpering. Before I knew it, he was out of the bed, backing away from it. I went towards him and got down on my knees so that he would see I wasn’t going to hurt him. He... He called me John and backed up to the dresser. Next thing I knew, he was running in here and locking the door. I heard him fall and cry out. I’m sorry, but, I kicked in the door. I knew something was wrong and I just knew I had to get to him. When I turned on the light, this is what I found. He was already unconscious. He can’t die, Sutan. I can’t lose him.” Sutan placed a hand on Tommy’s neck and felt for a pulse. It was weak but it was steady. “I can’t lose him either, Adam. I know Isaac feels the same way.” They sat there in silence, tears falling as they silently prayed to whatever being there may be out there that Tommy didn’t die on them. A few minutes later, Isaac came into the room. “I’m going to wait outside for the ambulance. They said it should be here in only a few minutes, that the one that responded to the call was only about six blocks away.” Sutan nodded and looked back down at Tommy. He was so pale and still, like he had already slipped away. “They better get here soon.” Adam said quietly as Isaac rushed out to wait for the EMT’s. In a matter of minutes, two EMT’s entered the bathroom and began to move Adam and Sutan out of the way. When Adam tried to fight with them so he could stay near Tommy, Isaac dragged him out of the room. “Get a shirt and some shoes on and stay out of their way. If you want him to get to the hospital so they can save him, listen to me. Sutan and I will go get dressed and meet you there.” Adam slowly nodded and swallowed hard, glancing back at Tommy. He turned away and grabbed his shirt off the counter where he had left it earlier. Going into the bedroom, he quickly pulled on a pair of Tommy’s socks and slipped on his boots, tying them quickly. As he stood up, the EMT’s began to wheel the gurney out of the bathroom. “What is your relationship to the patient?” One of them asked with a clip board n his hands. “I’m... I’m his boyfriend.” He placed the clip board down under the pillow where Tommy’s head lay. “Do you know why he did this?” Adam took a few breaths. “Shouldn’t you be getting him to the hospital instead of asking these questions?” The EMT looked at him like he was stupid. “I need to know what to write in my report and if I should tell the police that they need to investigate this matter.” Adam clenched his teeth and took a deep breath through his nose. “The police already know what the situation is with him, they were here earlier this morning. He was in a very violent relationship with a massive douche bag who beat him and forced him to do things. He left the guy. The guy came here this morning to kill TommyJoe. The police came and arrested him. If you saw his back, you would see how bad the fucker beat him the last time they saw each other. He was having a nightmare, almost like a flashback tonight in his sleep. He has been cutting for awhile now but only recently told us about it. He ran into the bathroom during the flashback and did this. I had to kick the door in just so I could get to him. Now, can you please get us to the hospital so he doesn’t die? I can’t bare to lose him. He is my life.” Just as Adam was finishing his sentence, one of the cops from earlier walked into the room. “I am so sorry, Mr. Lambert, that this has happened. If this is a result of what Mr. Ratliff has gone through with Mr. Keller, we will add to the charges that we are filing against him. Mr. Amrull and Mr. Carpenter already informed us of the severity of his injuries, mental and physical, and gave us the pictures of Mr. Ratliff’s back.” Adam nodded. “Thank you. Now, can you please tell them that they need to get TommyJoe to the hospital and I can fill them in on everything on the way there or even when we get there? I’m his emergency contact on record, so I have permission to make decisions for him while he can’t make them.” The cop nodded at the paramedics, who began to wheel Tommy out of the room and to the awaiting ambulance. “I hope you understand that we have to be careful about who we allow near a patient when there are injuries such as this. For all we knew, it could’ve been a fight between the two of you that either drove him to do this or you could’ve done it to him to make it look like a suicide attempt.” Adam clenched his fists at his side as they loaded Tommy into the vehicle. “I would NEVER hurt him. I would rather die than him be in any type of pain. Seeing and hearing what he went though for over a year has been killing me. The only thing I want in life is to be able to love him and protect him. He’s everything in this world to me.” Adam climbed in after the medic and sat down, taking the least cut arms hand in his. “Mind if I ask what took so long for you to do something to help him?” Adam brushed Tommy’s bangs off his face as he watched the guy pull the clip board out from under the pillow. “He hid it. He told no one. We should’ve seen it, but like he would tell you if he was awake, he got so good at hiding it, we didn’t know. And I want to shoot myself for not seeing it sooner. Figuratively speaking.” After he said that, Adam looked down at Tommy and fell silent. As it was, he would never forgive himself for not seeing what Tommy was going through sooner. But if Tommy didn’t make it, if the worst happened, he knew that he would never be able to live with himself, he would be joining Tommy shortly. He didn’t even hear the EMT talking to him. It was when he felt a hand on his that he looked up. “We’re here. You need to let go of his hand.” Adam brought Tommy’s hand up to his lips and kissed it before he placed it down on Tommy’s stomach. He climbed out of the ambulance and stood slightly to the side so as to not be in their way as they unloaded him and wheeled him into the hospital. They rushed him straight to the back, leaving Adam alone to fill out the forms a nurse was handing him. He was just sitting down in one of the chairs getting ready to fill out the forms when Isaac and Sutan came running in. “How is he?” Sutan asked, sitting down quickly next to Adam. Isaac took the seat on the other side and placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Want me to fill them out? You can tell me anything that I don’t know the answer to.” Adam nodded thankfully and handed them over. “They just rushed him back, not a word was said. Oh, god, Sutan. He was so pale and lifeless. I can’t lose him. It will be the death of me.” Sutan grabbed Adam’s hand and held it tightly. “Don’t say that or even think that. Tommy is strong and he will make it. So just get those thoughts out of your head right now.” Adam broke down crying. “Did you see all the blood, the way he cut? He wanted to die. No one could lose all that blood and survive. It looked like a slaughter house in the bathroom. He wanted to die, Sutan. My love just wasn’t enough for him.” Sutan pulled Adam into his arms and held him while he cried. “You need to stop thinking like this, Adam. He needs you to be strong, too. It wasn’t you that made him do this. It wasn’t that your love wasn’t enough. He’s been through hell and back. You even said that he thought that you were that bastard that hurt him. When he wakes up, he’s gonna need you to be right there at his side, being strong enough that he can feed off that to be strong for you and for himself.” Adam took a few deep breaths and sat up. “You’re right. I’m going to go clean up in the bathroom. Can you do me a favor?” Sutan smiled at him. “Anything.” Adam looked at Isaac who was still filling out the paperwork. “I know that John is still in jail, and I would do it myself, but I can’t leave TommyJoe. Can you go there and get that shirt he wanted? I want to be able to give it to him when he wakes up. He told me that John keeps a spare key under the rock next to the tree right to the left side of the steps.” Sutan nodded as he stood up. “Anything for our boy. Now, go clean up and I’ll get that shirt. It’s the one with the glitter skull on it, right?” Adam nodded and hugged him. “Thank you. It means a lot to him and I know it will put a smile on his face.” Adam watched Sutan walk out the door and then headed into the bathroom. He washed the blood off his arms and face but didn’t bother to take his shirt off to wash his chest and stomach. Tommy wouldn’t see it and he could always take a shower at a later time to get it off. Just as he opened the door to walk out, Isaac rushed in. “The doctor is looking for you. He won’t tell me anything.” They both ran over to where the doctor was talking to the charge nurse. “How is he?” Adam asked, his heart in his throat. The doctor turned and gave them a smile. “Feisty. He’s demanding to be let go, he wants to return home. He came to while I was stitching his wrist. He stayed still till I was done and then tried to get up. I had to threaten to sedate him and strap him down. He refuses to answer any of my questions until he sees you. He’s very weak from the loss of blood but we’re giving him a transfusion. Honestly, I am very surprised at the strength he is showing. His words are clear, he would’ve stood up if we didn’t force him down and he is thinking clearly. Was able to answer the standard questions we must ask.” Adam smiled proudly. “That’s my baby. He’s a fighter.” The doctor returned the smile. “If your friend can wait here, you can follow me and I’ll bring you straight back to him. Maybe you can get him to fill in the blanks.” Adam looked over at Isaac who just smiled at him. “Go. I’ll wait here for Sutan and let him know that Tommy will be fine.” Adam quickly hugged Isaac and then rushed off with the doctor. “By the way, I’m, Dr. Stanley.” It was an awkward hand shake but they managed. “As you know, I’m Adam. I was so scared.” Dr. Stanley nodded his head, understanding Adam’s fear. “He was lucky. He only nicked the radial artery. Any deeper, and I wouldn’t be taking you back to see him. Do you have any clue why he did this to himself? Should I be worried that he will try it again?” Adam shook his head. “I think that he will be okay. He has an ex who beat him. The guy would...” Adam began to choke on the words. He had been refusing to admit it but now, he couldn’t. “The bastard would also.. Raped him. The most recent beating was only two days ago. He showed up at the house yesterday morning and the police had to arrest him. He started having a nightmare, I guess a flashback of a beating in his sleep and did this. I had to kick the bathroom door in to get to him.” Dr. Stanley stopped a few feet from a door and placed his hand on Adam’s arm. “I’m sorry for everything that you had to go through. And I can’t imagine how things have been for Mr. Ratliff. Two last questions and then I’ll take you in to him. He has a high amount of percocet in his system? Does he have a drug problem? Some people develop them as a coping mechanism when they can’t deal with certain situations they’re in.” Adam shook his head. “He had them from a previous injury. He did admit to me tonight that he had taken more than the dose was. But he explained that it was because he had been feeling the urge to cut and he didn’t want to. He confessed it to me right away. I explained to him that he should’ve come to me instead and he agreed to do that from now on. If he hadn’t had that set back because of that bastard showing up...We wouldn’t be here right now. We would be home, safe in bed and asleep.” Dr. Stanley frowned a bit. “I still want to send someone up to talk to him about all of this. This leads me to my other question. If he was still with the man who would hurt him only two days ago, isn’t it a bit too fast for you and him to be together? I’m worried for his mental stability here.” Adam was ready to cry. All he wanted to do was see his baby, hold him, and make sure that he was alright. “I understand where you’re coming from, but you have no need. I would never make a move on him with the way he is. We realized that we actually have been dating for three years without even realizing that we were. We just thought we had an abnormally close friendship that pushed boundaries but never crossed them. We’ve kissed and fooled around a bit this afternoon, but I wouldn’t let it go further and I won’t. I told him that he has to heal mentally and physically before we could. I would never put him in any harm.” Dr. Stanley opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Tommy screaming at a nurse. “NOT UNTIL I SEE AND TALK TO ADAM!” Dr. Stanley pointed to the door they were standing next to and Adam went rushing in. “TommyJoe?” Adam asked, seeing Tommy standing next to the bed, holding it to keep himself upright and trying to keep the bed between him and the nurse. Tommy’s head turned to the door and he reached his hand out for him to take it. “Nurse, what’s going on?” Dr. Stanley asked as Adam rushed to the other side of the bed, pulled Tommy into his arms and sat on the bed with the tiny boy on his lap. “He pulled out his IV and everything once the transfusion bag was empty. Took off all his monitors and demanded to be released. I tried to sedate him, but he’s fast and strong, especially in his condition.” Tommy glared at the nurse from his perch. “I told you that I wanted Adam and to go home. I’m not staying anywhere without him.” Adam hugged his close, hating the way his small body trembled in his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. But you need to calm down or you’re going to hurt yourself even more.” Adam looked up at Dr. Stanley. “Can I have a few minutes alone with him? And could you please let Isaac know that when Sutan gets back, to let me know. I need what he is bringing.” Dr. Stanley nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. “I can give you fifteen minutes.” Adam nodded and glared at the nurse, letting her know that she wasn’t welcome in the room with them. After the doctor and nurse left the room, Tommy broke down into sobs and clung to Adam. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I swear, I didn’t know what I was doing. I know you’re not him and that you wouldn’t hurt me. It was like I could see what I was doing but not stop it. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.” Adam held Tommy to him tighter than he had ever before. “I don’t hate you and I never will. I understand and it’s okay. I could tell that you weren’t in control and I’m sorry that I didn’t know what to do to help you.” Tommy lifted his head and placed a quick kiss to Adam’s lips. “Don’t be sorry. I could see you, you were on your knees, trying to make me feel safe. But, the fear and panic had me in too tight of a grip.” Adam cradled Tommy against his chest, never wanting to let him go. “They’re not going to let you go home today. Maybe tomorrow. They also want you to talk to someone about the cutting and why you did what you did. I had to tell them about John forcing himself on you and beating you, or else the police would’ve. So, they’ll probably want you to talk about that, too. I told them that the pain killers in your blood were from an injury you had some time back, and that there were some left over. They were concerned that you had an addiction but I know you don’t. I’m going to stay here till they let you go home, so don’t even worry about that. I may have to leave the room while you talk to them but I’ll be right outside in the waiting area. I’m not going to leave you. And when Sutan gets back, I’ll have a surprise for you. Now, let’s get you back into bed. If you don’t want to be sedated, I’ll stand behind you on that, but you must rest.” Tommy nodded weakly. Now that his adrenalin had run out, he felt tired and weak. Adam held him tight as he stood up and then lowered him gently to the bed. “Is your back okay?” Tommy nodded and gave a small yawn. “It feels numb right now, which is a welcome.” Adam was fixing the blankets on Tommy when Dr. Stanley knocked on the door and poked his head in. “Can I come in?” Adam smiled and nodded. “Of course. Tommy has agreed to get some sleep and then talk to someone on one condition.” Dr. Stanley raised his eyebrows and looked at the two of them with a small smile twitching the corners of his mouth. “He wants you to be able to stay with him, am I correct?” Adam laughed and nodded. “But it’s also that I want to stay with him, too. I really don’t want to leave him alone.” Dr. Stanley nodded his head. “After he gets some sleep, I will come back in and talk to him and have a councillor come talk to him. Oh, your friend asked me to give you this and said that it was very important that you got it right away.” He walked over and handed Adam a bag and then looked at Tommy. “Get some sleep. Your body has gone through a lot and needs to heal.” Tommy nodded and looked at Adam. Adam opened the bag and smiled when he saw what was inside. “Close your eyes, baby. I have a surprise for you.” Tommy gave Adam a puzzled look but closed his eyes anyway. Adam pulled out the shirt that Sutan had gone to get and shook it out, holding it up so that Tommy would be able to see it. “Open them.” Tommy opened his eyes and they immediately filled with tears. “How? I left that.” Adam handed it to Tommy and watched as he brought it to his chest and held it tightly. “John is still in jail. I told Sutan where to find the key and asked him to get it. I knew that it would make you feel better. With how upset you were at dinner when you realized you had forgotten it, I had to get it back for you.” Dr. Stanley looked on fondly. He could see the love and devotion that Adam had for Tommy and knew he would be in safe hands, that Adam wouldn’t let him repeat his actions. “Thank you, Adam. This means so much. I have to also thank Sutan for getting it for me.” Dr. Stanley touched Tommy’s leg. “I sent your friends home and told them that they could come back this evening to see you.” Tommy nodded and reached out for Adam’s hand. Adam drug the chair that was under the window over to the side of the bed and took Tommy’s hand in his. Dr. Stanley nodded and left the room. “Sleep now, my love. I’ll be here when you wake. I’ll keep all the monsters away.” Tommy squeezed Adam’s hand and let his eyes fall shut, still holding the shirt tight to his chest. Adam watched as Tommy’s breathing even out and knew he had fallen asleep. He held Tommy’s hand tightly, making sure that Tommy knew, even in his sleep, that Adam was right there, not ever going to let him go. He didn’t know how much time had past when a nurse came in with some supplies. “I have to hook him back up to everything. Would you mind please stepping out for a few moments?” Adam shook his head. “I can’t let you wake him up. And I am not leaving his side. I’ll hit the emergency button if anything happens but he needs to sleep.” Rolling her eyes, the nurse stomped out of the room. Adam leaned forward and pressed his lips to Tommy’s hand. He silently said a prayer, thanking whatever being there was that his baby pulled through and he still had him in his life.


	11. He's Dead. It's Time To Move On.

Voices pulled Tommy from his sleep. “Are you serious? What a fucking coward.” He heard Adam saying as he opened his eyes. “What’s going on?” Adam turned and looked at Tommy when he heard him speak. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” Tommy shook his head. “I’m fine. Now what’s going on? Why is there a cop here?” The officer that Adam had been speaking to step towards the bed. ”Mr. Ratliff, I’m Officer Reynolds. I was the one who arrested you ex, John Keller, yesterday afternoon. I was also there last night after your incident. I’m sorry, but Mr. Keller is dead. He hung himself last night after the final set of charges were filed against him. I know that you didn’t have the best life with him but I know it’s hard to hear that someone you once loved, or may have loved, is dead.” Tommy sat up in bed, sitting Indian style and shrugged his shoulders. “I think you for saying you’re sorry, but I have no feelings about it. He wanted me to die and tried to kill me. He took away more than a year of my life and wanted me to not even talk to the one person who loves me more than anything in this world. I can’t feel bad that he is gone.” Officer Reynolds nodded his head. “I understand. Once you have had time to let things settle and that, you can go and remove the rest of your belongings out of his place. Or, you can ask your friends to go if it will be too hard for you. Just, please, let us know before you do so we don’t have to respond should someone call the police to say that strangers are entering the premises.” Tommy just nodded and sat there silent, looking down at the shirt he was still holding. “Thank you, Officer. We will be in touch when we know what we want to do.” Adam told him, shaking his hand. “My pleasure. Feel better, Mr. Ratliff.” Tommy tossed him a small smile and looked right back down. Once the door was closed, Adam went over and sat on the bed in front of Tommy. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?” Tommy shrugged one shoulder. Adam tucked a finger under his chin and lifted his head. Tommy kept his eyes downcast. “None of that. Look at me. What’s going on through that pretty head of yours.” When Tommy lifted his eyes to look at Adam, Adam saw that little bit of life that had come back to them was gone again. “I guess that makes me a coward, too, huh?” Adam tilted his head and looked at Tommy, truly puzzled as to why he said that. “You said to the officer that John was a coward for killing himself. But I tried to kill myself last night. I guess you think I’m a coward, too.” Adam’s jaw dropped and he looked like he was about to cry. “No, baby. Not at all. I said that because rather then face the charges like a man and face you, seeing that you are moving on with your life and are better off without him, he killed himself. Not the act itself. Plus, you weren’t in the right frame of mind when you did it. You aren’t a coward at all. You are so much stronger than you know. I was so scared that you were going to die last night and yet, here you are. You were fighting to go home, standing up after losing all that blood and everything. What that bastard did was purely cowardly.” Tommy bit his lips and searched Adam’s face and could tell he wasn’t lying, just trying to make him feel better. “You really mean that. You don’t think that I’m a coward.” Adam shook his head and pulled Tommy into his arms. Tommy went willingly, curling up on Adam’s lap with his arms around his neck and his face buried in the crook. Adam just held him till a knock on the door drew his attention. Sutan popped his head in. “Are we allowed in?” Tommy lifted his head and smiled warmly at Sutan and Isaac standing in the doorway. “Of course. And thank you, Sutan. I can’t believe you went and got my shirt for me. That means so much.” Sutan came over and kissed Tommy on the cheek. “Anything to see a smile on my VayVee’s face. How are you feeling?” Isaac walked around to the other side of the bed, also giving Tommy a kiss on the cheek. “A little tired and weak, but better than I should be. What would make me feel even better is if I could go home but I need to talk to people first to make sure that I’m mentally alright. But you know what would make me feel even better right now? Something to eat and group cuddles.” Isaac, Sutan and Adam all laughed as Tommy got off Adam’s lap sat back in the middle of the bed. Isaac moved up by the pillows with Sutan, letting Tommy rest back against them. Tommy pulled Adam down so his head was resting on Tommy’s stomach, with his fingers threading through Adam’s hair. “Press the call button, will you, Isaac. I want to make sure he gets something to eat before they start drilling him about how he’s handling things. Plus, we have something to tell you.” Isaac hit the button and told the nurse that Tommy was awake and could he please get something to eat. She told them that she would be right in to check on him and then notify the doctor. “So, what’s going on?” Isaac asked after he told the nurse that would be fine. “Do you want me to tell them or do you, baby?” Tommy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “John killed himself after he found out about all the charges they were bringing on him. Adam was right when he called him a coward. At first I thought that Adam would think of me as a coward but he told me that I wasn’t. That my mind frame wasn’t right, that I didn’t do it to hide. I’m just sorry that I did that and you guys had to see me like that. But, I’m free now. He can’t hurt me anymore.” Adam rubbed his hand up and down Tommy’s leg as he talked. He couldn’t be more proud of how well Tommy was handling things and so willing to move forward with his life. “What’s going on in here?” A sharp voice cut through the silence that had fallen on the room. “It’s called a group cuddle. It makes me feel safe and strong. Can I please get something to eat and then get the talks over with so I can go home where I don’t have a bitch like you judging me?” Tommy said to the nurse in a snide, sarcastic tone. He was still pissed at her from when she tried to sedate him and make Adam leave earlier. Yeah, he had woken up slightly when she came into the room wanting to put the IV and that back on him. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake and it will be up to him when you can eat. I’ll also be informing him of this little “cuddle group orgy” you seem to be having in this bed.” Tommy flipped her off as she walked out of the room. Isaac and Adam burst out laughing while Sutan sat there in shock. “Typical TommyJoe. Sure knows how to shock people.” Adam giggled out. Tommy tugged playfully on Adam’s hair. “Up, big man. I want my pants. Plus I really have to piss bad.” Adam and Isaac kept laughing as Adam sat up and Tommy got out of bed. Tommy went over to the small cabinet they considered a closet and took out the sleep pants he had been wearing. “I’m surprised there’s no blood on them.” Tommy said as he looked the pants over. Sutan cleared his throat. “That’s cause Adam got a towel wrapped around your arm fast enough.” Tommy chewed his lower lip and walked over to Adam. “Thank you. I’m sorry I did that, baby.” Adam tugged him down for a kiss. “Don’t worry about it, TommyJoe. It’s in the past. We got through it and you’re still here with us. That’s what matters most.” Tommy gave him a sad smile and touched his cheek. “I....” Adam nodded and turned his head so he could kiss Tommy’s palm. “I know. I love you, too. Now, go on.” Tommy ducked his head down and headed to the bathroom. “Cute ass, Tommy.” Isaac called out, giving him a wink. Tommy blushed and ducked into the bathroom. “What was that all about?” Sutan finally asked, snapping out of his shock. “What?” Isaac and Adam answered him at the same time. “The way you guys laughed when he bit the nurses’ head off.” Isaac rolled his eyes. “You hadn’t gotten back yet when she came out of the room last night with the doctor. She’s a nasty one. Made some comment about how the doctor shouldn’t have allowed Adam to stay the night with Tommy cause it wasn’t right, two men dating. The doctor told her to watch her step, that he wouldn’t tolerate that kind of talk on his shift.” Adam looked at Isaac in shock. “She said that? Oh my god! I know she didn’t want me in here but, that’s rude. She was trying to sedate TommyJoe when I came in and he was fighting her. He said he just wanted me in there with him and then he would calm down. She also wanted to wake him up to put an IV in and hook up some equipment on him. I told her that she wasn’t allowed to wake him up since he had just fallen asleep. She is a bitch. TommyJoe had every right to get nasty with her.” Sutan growled. “I may just bitch her out. She even has Raja pissed now.” Isaac flinched. “Oh shit. That is never a good thing. Keep Raja in. We don’t want to get thrown out before we can bring our boy home.” Adam looked between the two of them. “Speaking of which. The officer said that TommyJoe could get the rest of his stuff from John’s. I really don’t think it would be a good idea for him to go back there. Would you two mind if the three of us took turns getting the stuff he wants? He could make a list. And I also want to talk to him about moving in with me. He can have his own room if that’s what he wants. That’s not a problem.” Sutan and Isaac both nodded. “Sure. That’s no problem.” Isaac told Adam. “Oh, and we stopped by your place and grabbed some clothes for you.” Adam gave Sutan and Isaac each a big hug. “Thanks, guys. You’re the best.” Tommy cleared his throat. “If I don’t get a hug like that, I’m going to end up thinking that you guys are trying to steal my man.” He joked, getting them all laughing. “Come over here, baby. No one, not even these two pretty boys, will ever steal me from you.” Tommy pulled the hospital gown over his head and walked over to the bed. He grabbed the shirt Adam had Sutan get for him and pulled it on. “A little baggy but fits well enough.” Tommy muttered. Adam patted the bed and tucked Tommy against him when he settled down. “We can fix that. Wonder what is...” Adam was interrupted by a knock on the door and Dr. Stanley walking in. “Well, you certainly look better than you did last night. And I see your friends have brought a smile to your face.” Tommy nodded and chewed on his thumb nail. “They’re the best. When can I eat and when can I go home?” Dr. Stanley let out a hearty laugh. “Right to the point. Let me check you over and then we will see about getting you something to eat. Or, if you want, since I do need to talk to you alone, I’ll let your friends bring you in some food. How does that sound?” Tommy glanced nervously at Adam. “Adam can’t stay?” Dr. Stanley shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I have to talk to you alone. But I’m, sure that when the councillor comes in, she will let him stay.” Tommy nodded and hugged Adam. “Hurry back.” Adam gave him a soft kiss and hugged him back. “I will be. What do you want us to bring back?” Tommy grinned at him. “More of the food from last night? This way you can grab a shower and clean clothes while you’re at it. I know you must hate wearing what you have on. I, uh, noticed the blood on your pants.” Adam kissed his forehead. “You got it. I’ll bring you some soda, too. I love you.” Tommy squeezed his hand. “I know. Same here.” As the guys got off the bed, Tommy snuggled back against the pillows and watched as they left. “They mean a lot to you, don’t they?” Dr. Stanley asked him, sitting in the chair Adam had spent the night in. “Yeah, they do. They’re the only family I have. My parents are dead, so is my sister. No one else in the family wanted me around. I lived with Isaac, the short one, for almost a year. Then Sutan, the tall one, got a huge house and I moved in with him. Got my own place a few months later. Lived there a little less than a year when I met and moved in with John. That’s when hell began. And Adam... I love him more than anything but I’m so scared to say it. He knows, I mean, I told him but I just can’t say it.” Dr. Stanley nodded his head and pointed to Tommy’s arm that had all the scars on it. “I take it that is when those started appearing. And you stopped taking care of yourself.” Tommy nodded. “Yeah. Look.. I understand that you need to talk to me but I don’t want to go through this twice. Just ask me what you need to know, please. I’m not trying to be rude, it’s just too hard to keep reliving.” Dr. Isaac stood up and picked up the chart hanging off the foot of Tommy’s bed. “I’ll be blunt. I’m worried with how many scars you have that you’re going to cut again. And with your actions last night, how can I be sure that you won’t try again?” Tommy sighed, blowing his hair off his forehead. “I know where you’re coming from. I can’t guarantee that I will never cut again because that is impossible to say. All I can do is give you the same promise I gave the guys. I will try my best and ask for help if I can’t handle it on my own. But as for the attempt... I wasn’t thinking, I couldn’t think. It was like, I was seeing what was going on, but had lost all control. But John’s dead now. I don’t have to worry about him coming after me anymore.” Dr. Stanley looked at him, clearly surprised. “Excuse me? The guy who did all these things to you is dead? Your boyfriend said to me when you were brought in that he was just arrested yesterday.” Tommy nodded. “A little while ago, an officer came in and told us that John killed himself last night in jail. I don’t have to worry about him coming back for me.” Dr. Stanley nodded his head and wrote something down on the chart. “Alright. Let me do an exam on you, ask you those few other questions and then I’ll leave you be. I’m sure they will be back soon and want to check in on you.”


	12. The Healing Starts

Dr. Stanley was just walking out of Tommy’s room when Adam, Sutan and Isaac walked up. “How is he?” Adam asked nervously. Dr. Stanley gave them a few nods. “Other then the bruising, I don’t see anything being wrong with his back. His arms are going to need to be kept clean and the one with stitches kept dry till they come out. If the councillor I send in to see him feels that he’s not in danger of hurting himself again, I’ll send him home as soon as the papers can be written up. But I do suggest that he see a therapist to talk about what he has gone through. I honestly couldn’t be as strong as he is, having gone though what you told me and what I gathered from the little bit he told me. He clearly doesn’t trust me enough to tell me everything. I think he only feels safe enough when he’s around people he knows, to really open up. Hopefully, I don’t see any of you back here any time soon once he is released.” They all shook hands and agreed to not coming back baring any unforeseen accidents. Adam was the first one to walk into the room and noticed Tommy wasn’t in bed but standing in front of the window, staring out. “Baby?” Tommy turned around and rushed into Adam’s arms. Adam hugged him close, concern written all over his face. Tommy placed a few kisses on Adam’s neck and pulled back smiling. “I can go home tonight if the shrink thinks I’m going to be okay. I just want to go back to Sutan’s, watch a movie with you guys, clean up the mess I made in the bathroom and go to bed in your arms, Adam.” Isaac placed a hand on Tommy’s back. “Don’t worry about it. I cleaned it up last night. I didn’t want you coming back and seeing it. I thought that seeing it might upset you too much.” Tommy pulled away from Adam and pulled Isaac into a hug. “Thank you, but you shouldn’t have. It was my mess and I should’ve been the one to clean it. But thank you.” Isaac hugged him back, shaking his head. “No need to thank me, man. I know you would’ve done the same for me. Now, how about you eat the food Sutan is carrying before it gets colder. We brought enough for all of us so you wouldn’t have to eat alone.” They all sat down on the bed, crowded as it was, and Sutan handed out the containers. Tommy opened his and smiled. “Extra hot sauce. You guys know me too well.” Adam laughed and handed Tommy a soda. “I don’t know how the hell you manage to eat all of that and not have ulcers through your whole body.” He joked as he watched Tommy take a huge bite of his burrito. Tommy just shrugged. “Pure talent.” Isaac rolled his eyes. “You have watched that movie way too many times there, man.” Sutan looked confused. “What movie?” Tommy, Isaac and Adam all choked. Tommy turned with his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. “The movie ‘The Crow’? You’ve never seen it?” Sutan shook his head. Tommy swallowed and looked at him. “That’s it. We are renting it tonight and watching it. It is only one of the greatest movies ever made. There have been a few semi-type remakes of it. Different names, different actors but same storyline and compared to the original, they all suck. And it is totally disrespectful, in my opinion.” Sutan tilted his head. “Wait. I think I know what you’re talking about. Wasn’t that the movie where Bruce Lee’s son was killed while filming it and they never found out who did it?” Tommy nodded. “And they never will. It’s said that the Triads, who killed his father, were the ones that killed him.” The small talk continued while they ate and it was decided that when they were done, Sutan and Isaac would go rent the movie and bring the containers home. “We’ll call you when they release Tommy so you can come and get us or we can just take a cab home.” Sutan raised his hand. “No way am I allowing you guys to take a cab home. You call us as soon as you know what is going on and we will be here. Got me?” Tommy laughed and shook his head. “I think TranMa here is going to go all dramatic on us if we don’t do as he says.” Sutan placed a loud, smacking kiss on Tommy’s cheek. “This boy knows what best and that’s why he’s my favorite. Make sure good ole Adam-Boy over here listens to you. I want to make sure I get you home.” They all hugged good bye, leaving Tommy and Adam some time alone before the other doctor came in. “Are you alright? You look tired.” Tommy shrugged. “A little. My back is starting to hurt and so is my left wrist. I still can’t believe I did something this stupid.” Adam got off the bed and helped Tommy to his feet. “Let it go. It couldn’t be helped and to keep ragging on yourself about it isn’t going to change it nor make it better. Let me straighten the bed and then I want you to lie down. I’ll talk to the doctor about getting you something for the pain once your laying down.” Tommy placed his hand on Adam’s chest and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Lay with me. At least until the shrink comes. Please. I need to feel your arms around me.” Adam tucked Tommy’s fringe behind his ear. “Of course. I’ll fix the bed and while you get comfortable, I’ll talk to them about something for your pain. Then I’ll hold you.” Tommy’s smile made it to his eyes and for that minute, Adam saw the old Tommy. Tommy sat in the chair till Adam was done. He went to stand up but Adam instead picked him up and laid him down on the bed. “Want the covers on?” Tommy shook his head and curled onto his side. “No. I’m good. Plus, I can steal body heat from you. By the way... You look so cute in that shirt. When I bought you that shirt, it was meant as a joke. I didn’t think you would ever really wear it.” Adam leaned down and kissed Tommy. “I love it. And I wear it with pride because the love of my life got it for me. Plus, glittery kitties are cute.” Tommy’s smile only got wider and it filled Adam with so much more love. “I’ll be right back. Oh, and, TommyJoe... I’m proud of you for eating and keeping it down. You’ll beat this.” Tommy nodded and closed his eyes. “Thank you. That means a lot. From here on out, life is only going to get better.” Adam placed a kiss on Tommy’s cheek and left the room. Tommy realized that he must have dozed off cause it seemed like Adam wasn’t even gone a full thirty seconds before he felt him sit down on the bed. “The doctor was actually at the nurses’ station, so they didn’t have to page him. He put the order in for some dilauded and the nurse will be in as soon as the pharmacy sends it up. He said that it could make you drowsy and asked if you wanted to wait to talk to the councillor but I told him that you wanted to get home and would be pissed if you didn’t make it there tonight. He said she should be up in about half an hour. The whole interview will take about an hour and then, if all goes right, you will be on your way home. He told her that you wanted me to stay in here with you while you talked to her and she told him that wouldn’t be a problem.” Tommy gave a relieved sigh, glad that he wouldn’t have to face meeting with this woman alone. It was hard enough when he had to talk to the doctor but to talk to someone about the abuse he had to go through and all the things he had done to himself to be able to survive the horrors, he would never have been able to handle it. Adam was his rock and would keep him anchored should things start to go wrong and he began to drift away. Tommy straightened out and moved over so that Adam could lie down next to him. He waited till Adam was settled before he curled up against him with his head on his chest. “I’ve noticed something about you. When we are sitting together or standing, you always stay to my left side and bury your face into my neck. But when we are lying down, you always choose to be on my right side with your head on my chest rather than my shoulder. Did you ever notice that you do that?” Tommy giggled. “Yeah, actually I have. I think it’s because I consider the crook of your neck my happy, safe spot. It’s a little hard to rest my head on your chest when we are standing or sitting. But when we lay down, you right arm is stronger then your left and you hold me tighter with it. It makes me feel more secure. Plus, your chest is softer than your shoulder. Better pillow to have.” Adam laughed and kissed the top of Tommy’s head. “You are something else. I swear, I’ve never met anyone cuter then you. You always manage to surprise me. It’s one of the greatest qualities that I love so much about you.” Tommy smiled and hugged Adam. “I feel the same way about you. You always surprise me with how much you are willing to give and how much you want me to feel good about myself. No one has ever bothered to do that for me before. You have the greatest sense of humor and always manage to make me smile no matter how bad things are. You make the most adorable face depending on what emotion you are feeling. All of that just makes me love you more and makes me wish that I had admitted my feelings sooner. But, maybe if I had, it wouldn’t have been the right time and we wouldn’t be as close as we are. They’re right when they say that the best of friends make the best of lovers.” Adam closed his eyes and rested his head on Tommy’s. “I just wish that you didn’t have to go through everything that you did just for us to get where we are.” Tommy was about to answer but the nurse came in pushing a cart. “I have to put an IV in you before I can give you the medication. It’s easiest if I put it into your hand. Do you have a preference as to which hand I use?” Tommy sat up and held out his right hand. “It will probably be easier with this hand since this one doesn’t have stitches in it.” The nurse looked at Adam. “Would you mind moving just while I do the IV. I really hated to interrupt you, you guys looked so comfortable lying there together.” Tommy smirked towards Adam. “I like her so much better than the other bitch that I had earlier.” The nurse laughed. “Molly is set in her ways and not many patients like her. I’m Kristen and I promise to do this as quickly and painlessly as possible. What I’m going to do is put the IV needle in first and flush it with saline. It’s going to feel really cold and you might feel a little woozy since water is entering your veins. Then I will hook up the actual IV drip and let it run for a minute of two. Then I will give you a medication called Zolfram through the IV that will keep your stomach settled. Dilauded can cause some people to get nauseous and the Zolfram can prevent that. You really won’t feel anything from the Zolfram. But when I give you the Dilauded, it will give you a very strong, euphoric rush that can leave you feeling dizzy and feeling really high. But it is great for pain and lasts for a few hours. But that time, hopefully, you will be on your way home and then you can go to sleep for awhile since it will more then likely make you very drowsy. Are you ready, Mr. Ratliff?” Tommy smiled at her. ”Please, call me Tommy. Mr. Ratliff was my father.” Kristen smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up. “Tommy it is. Now, I need you to lie down and relax. I’m going to place a few towels under your arm so as to not get the bed wet, or, god forbid, get any blood on anything. Is this handsome man your friend?” Kristen teased. Tommy shook his head, a pure smile on his face. “He’s my boyfriend.” Kristen smiled at the two of them. “I could feel love when I entered the room. You want to stand over here by him so he knows that there is nothing to worry about?” Adam nodded and moved to the other side of the bed. Tommy sat up a bit so that Adam could fit in behind him and rested his head on Adam’s stomach. “I’m sure you’ve had needles before. These tend to pinch a bit more since they are bigger but it helps get the medication flowing through faster then if I just gave it to you though a shot into your muscle. Now just close your eyes and let me work my magic.” Tommy took a few deep, calming breaths and closed his eyes. The alcohol cleaning his skin felt cold, but he could deal with that. When she pierced him with the needle, he flinched a bit but stayed silent and still. “Now for the saline before the IV. It’s going to feel cold and weird, so be prepared.” As she flushed out the needle, Tommy felt a chill running through his veins but it was nothing bad. He felt her hook-up a tube to the IV and felt warmer water start flowing into his arm. “Not too bad so far, is it?” Kristen asked as she let the IV fluid flow through the tube into his arm. “How long before you actually kill me with the good stuff?” Kristen laughed and looked at the clock about the bed. “About three more minutes. I want to warn you that this stuff is very strong and that it will make you want to fall asleep. Just suck on some ice chips that I will bring you in because drinking water or soda can make you feel sick to your stomach. I’m going to add the Zolfram before I give you the dilauded. That will help a lot. You ready? Some people do say they get a metallic taste in their mouths as the Zolfram works it’s way through but that fades rather quickly. You ready?” Tommy nodded and watched her hook up a needles syringe to the IV and pushed the medication through. “You okay?” Tommy nodded and smiled. ”They were right about the taste of metal but it’s almost like when you suck the blood off your finger when you get a small cut. Nothing too strange.” Kristen nodded. “I’m about to start the Dilauded. I can either push it right through but that can increase dizziness or I can do it slowly. Doing it fast causes it to go through your system faster and helps the pain quicker. I’m going to leave it up to you.” Tommy looked at Adam, silently asking him what he should do. “If your back and arm are hurting bad enough, I’d take it all at once. But if you can wait till it all kicks in, take it slow.” Tommy turned to Kristen and gave her a small smile. “I’ll take the risk and take it all at once. My back and wrist are really starting to hurt bad and I don’t want to be in pain like this when I have to talk to the shrink.” Kristen grabbed the needless syringe and hooked it up into the IV. “Just close your eyes and keep them closed till the dizzy feeling passes. It will make it easier on you if you do it that way.” Tommy laid back and left his eyes. It only took a few seconds before his body went numb and he began to feel like he was flying and the room was spinning. He held his hand out for Adam, who took it right away. “It’s okay, baby. Just keep your eyes closed and it will be over soon.” Kristen tossed all the garbage into the correct cans and headed for the door with the cart. “The IV will stay in until you are ready to go and we will give you a dose of the meds when you are released till you can get the prescription filled. You two can cuddle again. You guys have got to be the most beautiful couple I have seen. The way you love each other and how protective he is of you, Tommy… Don’t ever lose him.” After saying that, she walked out the door, leaving the two of them alone together. “Get your ass back into this bed with me, Lambert.” Tommy demanded, his tone playful. Adam snickered and laid back down on the bed, waiting for Tommy to get comfortable. “You just close you eyes and relax till the doctor comes in. If you fall asleep, I’ll wake you up.” Tommy yawned and snuggled in against Adam. “Thank you for everything.” Adam hugged him tightly, loving how he could make Tommy feel safe and relaxed. He laid there and listened to Tommy’s breathing as it went soft and his body went lax. Adam just laid there, enjoying the fact that Tommy had already come so far and knowing that he was going to do anything he could to help him become one million percent. When Tommy began to snore slightly, Adam couldn’t help but laugh at how much his snoring sounded like a purr. “You are such a kitten at times. And so Pretty. Hmmm... Good thing your asleep. My new nickname for you is Pretty Kitty. Once you move in with me, baby, that will be your new name. You’re going to be so mad at me.” Adam chuckled softly so as to not wake him. There was a knock at the door and a pretty woman stuck her head inside. “Mr. Ratliff?” Adam smiled and waved her in. “He’s right here. He told me to wake him when you got here.” He faced Tommy and shook him lightly. “Time to get up, baby. The doctor is here.” Tommy blinked his eyes a few times and then pulled Adam down for a small kiss. “Do I really have to do this?” Tommy asked the doctor as she took a seat next to Tommy’s bedside. ”I’m afraid that you do. My name is Dr. Stayfiller, but you can call me Stacey if you want. Seems that the issues of cutting and food aren’t the only things that are wrong with you. I’m going to need in great detail what has happened since before you met this guy John all the way till you chose to slit your wrist. I understand that you asked if your friend could stay with you. We will start with that first and then we will move on to the other stuff. Care to explain.” Tommy glanced at Adam and then he looked back at Stacey. “He is my rock, my world. He keeps me grounded and helps me deal with things. I know when he is around, nothing bad can happen to me. He will protect me to no end. I love him so much, beyond words can say. I wish I could say it to him, but he understands that right now, it’s too hard for me to get the words out. But one day, I will, and nothing will stop me. The best part is that he loves me and he is willing to deal with all my problems and issues and never turn his back on me.” Tommy told Stacey honestly. “That’s great that you were able to find someone like that. A lot of people aren’t so lucky. Now, I need you to tell me everything from when you left home up until you tried to kill yourself tonight. I will let you tell the whole story from beginning till end without interrupting you. Sound good?” Tommy nodded his head, not wanting to do this, but he knew that if he didn’t, there was no way he was going home with Adam that night. “Okay. Here you go.”


	13. My Life Story In Short

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry if this chapter doesn't match too well or make much sense. I wrote it while on a lot of medication for the virus and pain I was in. Hope that it fits the rest of the story. This is the last official chapter as the "last" chapter will be an epilogue. <3

“Things weren’t too bad at my house growing up. I was almost fifteen when my father passed away. It was hard on my mom. She started drinking really bad. She stopped caring about whether I came home and what not. I would get drunk with here and then I started getting high. It started with weed and before I knew it, I was snorting coke and heroin. I wouldn’t use needles though cause I knew the risk of what could happen if you shared needle. Shortly after my sixteenth birthday, she moved a bastard in who beat her and tried to rape me when she wasn’t around. One night when they were passed out, I grabbed the five bags I had packed and I left. I stayed with some friends here and there until I met Adam, Isaac and Sutan. Isaac let me move in with him for a year or so. During that time, I found out my sister died in a group home that she was in. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck. There was nothing they could do to save her. During my time living with Isaac, I spent a lot of time with Adam. After a year or so, Sutan got a bigger house and asked if I wanted to move in with him. At first, I didn’t want to leave Isaac’s but I knew that his apartment was small and his, at the time, girlfriend wanted to move in. Sutan lived alone, plus it was closer to Adam, so I took him up on his offer. I really didn’t have much to move, so it happened quickly. That was when I really got to spend a lot of alone time with Adam. Sutan would go away for weeks at a time for work and Adam would come and stay with me. We would talk, cuddle, watch movies together and sometimes we would even kiss. It was like we were dating but without putting a label on it. This went on for seven month. I worked odds and ends to save up enough money so that I could move into my own place. The first day of the eighth month, I moved into my new apartment. It was great, but very lonely. I had Sutan and Isaac over a lot, but the one that was there the most was Adam. He stayed there three or four nights a week. Nothing happened but the usual. I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me because he never made a move on me. But that didn’t last very long. I met John only a few months after I moved into my new place. At first he was wonderful. He would show me off to his friends and would act like I was everything he wanted. Then things start to change. I realized that suddenly I was doing things for him constantly, but he wasn’t doing anything for me. I brought that up to him and he flipped out on me. That was the first time he hit me. I swear, I know I should’ve left him then and there, but I was too scared. He had been yelling at me for awhile but I just figured it was part of his temper and that soon enough he would learn to control it. But I was wrong. It soon went from yelling to harder slaps. Trust me when I say that the slaps weren’t the normal, female type slaps. These would leave bruises and split lips. The posters that you see of women being beaten, meant nothing to me. I made excuses for him, saying that I tripped, or that we were wrestling around and things got out of hand. I got good at hiding things. I got good at hiding the fact that he was abusing me. I blew off my friends so that they wouldn’t see the marks and the bruises. Even when he basically broke my jaw, I hid it. I hid everything. I even basically stopped talking to Adam because that’s what John wanted. I still talked to him but it was nothing like the way we were before John came into the picture. He was very jealous of him. He thought that I was cheating on him with Adam. He may have thought that I was cheating on him with the others but he never said so. He just always accused me of being with Adam even when I wasn’t. He said he could smell him on me. That’s what a lot of the beatings were about. He felt that I was with Adam, cheating on him, and I wasn’t. I wasn’t cheating on him with anyone. I’m not the type of person that cheats. Cheaters are the scum of the earth. Plus, Adam would never come between a couple. It’s not in his DNA. It originally began with him just yelling at me for stuff I didn’t do that he wanted to me to. Then him beating on me because he had this crazy idea that I was cheating on him with Adam and wouldn’t totally end my friendship for good with him. Then it went to him.... raping me. Every time he wanted to have sex and I didn’t... I had no choice but to lie there and take it. I remember one time I tried to fight him. He tied me down and proceeded to rape me without prep or lube. I thought I was gonna die that night. The way he ripped me apart, the only thing I could do was pray I would die. The pain was so bad. The next morning, he didn’t even give warning. He just............. He just thrust in and let me scream my head off. Adam has been there, and there are no neighbors near by to hear me scream. He just kept going until I passed out. I don’t know when he stopped but when I came to, it started all over again. By the third time that day, I not only thought I was going to die, I prayed for death. I had never felt pain like that before in my life. He warned me that if I ever tried that again, tried fighting him, he would just make it even more painful for me. I learned to stop fighting him. It wasn’t till the other day that I knew I had to get out. I forgot to get the dry cleaning and he really flipped. He slapped me across the face and threw me to the floor by my hair. There had been times when he was really pissed at me where he would kick me in the stomach and I thought that this would be one of those times. I was wrong. He started kicking me in the back, screaming at me. He told me that I had to get out and that the next time he saw me, he was going to kill me. He spit on me and then kicked me in the back again. That’s when I called Isaac to come and get me. He brought me to Sutan’s and set it up for Adam to be there when they confronted me about everything. I thought that by telling them all the things that had happened to me, it would be over. I was wrong yet again. Adam and I decided that we would give it a shot, that there was just something between us. I love him more than anything in this world but yet, I can’t bring myself to say those words to him. He says that he is okay with it, that when the time is right and I say them because I feel safe and comfortable saying them, then it will mean even more to him. I just wish I could say it to him when he says it to me. Or even just say it cause I feel like saying it. But I can work on that with his help. Last night was just a bad flashback. I had a dream that John was threatening to rape me if I didn’t trick Adam into coming to the house so that he could kill him. I wouldn’t do it. He started coming after me, saying that he was there to finish the job. See, earlier in the day, he did show up and was going to kill me but they got the cops there and the cops arrested him. I just knew in my dream, he was there and he wanted to kill Adam. So, I did what I felt I had to do. Rather than call Adam, I would take my own life. I know I said I could see that it was Adam in front of me but it didn’t hit me till earlier why I was seeing John. If I took my own life, then John would have no reason to hurt him. I remember going into the bathroom and making the usual small cuts that I made back when I was dating John. It made it easier to deal with the emotional pain he was putting me through. But then, I knew they weren’t enough to actually stop John. It was like he got off on seeing me hurting myself. I took the razor in my strongest hand and dragged it down the wrist of my weak hand. The pain was so bad that it dropped me to my knees. I don’t remember anything from there on until I woke-up here and I just wanted Adam. And that’s all I want to do right now is go home with him. John is dead. He hung himself in jail when he found out all the charges that they were going to be placing on him. I no longer have to worry about him coming after me or coming after Adam. I’m okay now. Any problems that I have, I know I can go to Adam and he will help me. Same when it comes to Sutan and Isaac. They would never let anything to happen to me and they will be there for me whenever I need them. Same as if they ever need me. But I can’t heal if I’m here. I need to be with Adam. I no longer have anything to fear. I can start eating normally and not be called fat. There will be no emotional abuse, so I have no need to cut anymore. John is dead so there is no need for me to try and kill myself. I feel that if I am with the three of them, I might be able to face things and get better. I’m not good around strangers, they really upset me and paranoia me. Please, let me go home. I swear this will never happen again. If it does happen, I will sign myself in for treatment from you. But you have to please let me try it this way.” Stacey sat there jotting notes in her pad and turned to look at Adam. “Is what he saying true? Do you think that he will get better being around you and the other guys? Do you think that if we release him, he will get better? Because I have my serious doubts. I’ve seen people in these cases before and they either end up back here or they end up, sadly, dead. What do you feel on this? Seems like he feels he will only get better if he is with you twenty-four-seven. Can you put that much time into him?” Adam pulled the shaking boy tightly against him, rubbed his hand up and down his arm and kissed him on the head. “I will do whatever it takes. If I have to spend every second of every day with him, I will. I know he’s not a pet where I can just get someone else to watch him if I want to get away for a few days. TommyJoe is the love of my life and I will do anything to make sure he gets better.” Stacey looked between Tommy and Adam, not knowing if it was love when it came to Tommy or just the fact that he was thankful. She looked at Tommy. “Loyalty has an expiration date, you know. Are you sure that you really love him or is it just that you are grateful that he saved you and is willing to take on your problems?” Tommy sat up and glared at her, hate filling his eyes. “How fucking dare you? I’ve loved him for three years but never had the balls to admit it. Now that I finally have the chance to be with him, you want to taint that by saying that I’m just using him? You know what... Just get the fuck out of my room. I don’t need to hear this shit. How fucking dare you!” Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy and pulled him against his chest, carding his fingers through his hair. “Calm down, baby. It’s okay. Just relax or you’ll have a panic attack. C’mon, baby... Take deep breaths. She’s just doing her job. It’s okay. Just remember that I love you and that I know that you love me. That’s all that matters. It doesn‘t matter what anyone else thinks.” Tommy took a few deep breaths and relaxed against Adam. Forgetting that Stacey was in the room, Tommy turned his head and kissed Adam, deeply and passionately. Stacey blushed and turned her head away. She knew, just from seeing their kiss, that they were truly in love and that there was no way that this was fake. She cleared her throat to remind them that she was in the room. “I’m going to go talk to Dr. Stanley about letting you go home. After what I just witnessed, I have no doubt in my mind that what you share is real and that the best way for Tommy to heal is to be with you, Adam.” She nodded her head and left the room. “Did you hear that, baby? You get to go home with me tonight. We will spend tonight with Sutan and Isaac and then, if you want to, I want you to move in with me. I want to go to bed with you and hold you all night. I want to get up in the morning and have breakfast with you. I want to do everything during the day with you. I want us to have romantic dinners and romantic nights together before we go back to sleep in each others arms again. Do you? Do you want to live with me?” Tommy wrapped his arms tightly around Adam neck and snuggled into his favorite spot. “I would love that. That would make me happier than I’ve ever been. Oh, Adam.” Adam kissed the side of Tommy’s head and just held him close, loving the fact that Tommy was officially his and that there was nothing out there that could tear them apart. Adam soon felt Tommy’s body relax and knew that he had fallen asleep. He shifted slightly so that they were laying flat and let himself dose off. Dr. Stanley came in a short time later and shook them gently awake. “Go call your friends and tell them to come and get you. Tommy, you have been given clearance to go home. While your friend is calling your other friends to get you, I need you to sign these papers the best that you can so that we can let you go.” Tommy sat up and reached for the papers as Adam stood up and went over to the other side of the room to call Sutan and let them know to come and get them, that Tommy was signing the release papers now. Sutan promised that they would be there in about half an hour. Tommy signed the last paper and took this hospital band off. When he tied to take that IV out, the Dr. Stanley stopped him and took it out for him. “Now, I know I went over your aftercare instructions while you were signing the release papers, but they are also in those papers I’ve given you. Follow them to them t and you should be just fine. Come back in five days to have the outer stitches removed and the other will dissolve over a week or so. So, this is good-bye, good luck and hopes that we never see you here for anything like this again.” Tommy, Adam and Dr. Stanley shook hand and Dr. Stanley left the room. They packed up what little they had along with a blanket, gauze pads, gauze wraps and some first aid cream and first aid tape. “They charge enough.” Tommy joked. They hurried out of the room, waved good-bye to the guard and headed outside to wait for Sutan and Isaac.


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Hope you have enjoyed. <3

3 Weeks Later……….  
Adam smiled at Tommy as he caressed his cheek. “Are you sure? Last thing I wanna do is rush you. I only wanna do this if you are completely ready.” Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and pressed his body tightly against Adam’s. “I’ll admit. I’m scared that you will find me ugly cause of the scars. I won’t lie about that. But I swear to you, Adam… I’m ready.” Adam leaned down and sealed his lips over Tommy’s, dominating and devouring him. Tommy let himself melt against Adam, groaning when one of Adam’s hands tangled into Tommy’s hair and the other slid down his back to cup his ass. Adam broke the kiss and stared deeply into Tommy’s eyes. “Baby, I love you. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, can make you ugly. And I am going to prove that to you. But I just can‘t help but think that maybe this is too soon. The last thing that I want is it to be a regret for you or cause you to think back to what happened to you. Anything that you don‘t want me to do or aren‘t comfortable with… Let me know and I will stop instantly.” Tommy stroked his hand down the side of Adam’s face and smiled at him. “It’s not too soon and I will NEVER regret this. Please….“ Adam brought his hands to the hem of Tommy’s shirt and tugged it up and over his head, tossing it to the floor somewhere behind them. First he grabbed Tommy’s left arm and began to kiss along the scar running down his wrist, the skin still slightly puffy and red. Tommy clenched his fist and shivered from the sensation running through him. Adam lowered Tommy’s left arm and lifted his right. He placed soft kisses along the scabs and scars like he had before, but this time, he let his tongue trace over the older, more faded scars. Tommy closed his eyes, his head falling back and let out a long moan, unable to stop it. Adam let his tongue trail up Tommy’s arm, sucking up a small mark on his inner elbow. Tommy’s knees almost gave out on him when Adam did that. He grabbed at Adam’s shoulder with his free hand, his moans getting louder. Adam wrapped his arm around Tommy’s waist, pulling him as tight as he could against him and slipping his leg between Tommy’s, giving him something to get friction from, to be able to give himself pleasure. As Adam’s mouth moved up to Tommy’s shoulder, Tommy dropped his head forward and buried his face into Adam’s neck, whimpering as he began to gently rock his hips, riding Adam’s thigh. Adam placed teasing bites on Tommy’s shoulder, loving the gasping sounds Tommy was making, the small hitches in his breath. Adam brought his mouth to Tommy’s ear. “You taste so good. I can’t wait to taste even more of you.” Adam licked the shell of Tommy’s ear and then down the side of Tommy’s neck, latching on to where his neck and shoulder met, bringing up a dark bruise. Tommy rocked his hips harder, his breath getting heavier. “Adam, please. I… I need more. Touch me, let me touch you.” Adam pulled back and pulled his shirt over his head. Tommy ran his hands over Adam’s shoulders and down his chest. “You’re so beautiful, Adam. One day I’m gonna spread you out and taste every single freckle.” Adam blushed and bit his lower lip. “I’ve always hated my freckles. No one else has ever seemed to like them, either. I’ve never had someone say anything like that before to me.” Tommy leaned forward and placed a kiss over Adam’s heart. “Well, they should have. And don’t hate your freckles. They’re a part of you.” Tommy stood on the tip of his toes and placed a gentle kiss on Adam’s lips. “Take me to bed, Adam. I need you.” Adam scooped Tommy up in his arms and carried him over to the bed. He gently placed him down and laid himself down on top of him, bracing the brunt of his weight on his hands placed at either side of Tommy’s head. “I need you, too. I’ve needed you for a long time. I’ve dreamt about this, fantasized about this. Do you have any idea how many times I jerked off to the fantasy that I was thrusting into you, making you scream my name, not me just thrusting into my own hand. Even after I came, I was still aching… Like it wasn’t enough.” Tommy wrapped his legs around Adam’s waist and rubbed their cocks against each other. Even through the two layers of denim, it was more than enough friction to cause sparks of pleasure to shoot through their bodies. They both let out loud moans and Adam dropped his forehead down onto Tommy’s. “You won’t be aching anymore. That I can promise you. Take what you need. I’m offering it up completely to you.” Adam pushed himself up into a kneeling position and undid the button of Tommy’s jeans. “I am so going to take my time with you. Trust me. By the time I’m done with you, you will never want to be with anyone else, ever again.” Tommy giggled and gave Adam a cocky look. “Those are big words. Are you gonna actually be able to back them up or…” Before Tommy could finish, Adam had his zipper down, his pants down to his ankles along with his underwear and was pulling off his shoes. “What the…” Adam laughed as he finally got Tommy’s shoes off and yanked his pants and underwear off, too. He crawled back up and placed a kiss on Tommy’s stomach. “You are beautiful everywhere. And I do mean everywhere.” Adam sat back on his heels, wrapped his hand around Tommy’s cock and licked the bead of precum off the tip. “I was right before when I said you tasted good. I bet the more I get, the better you will taste.” Tommy shook his head and tried to pull Adam up to him. “I don’t want to come like that. I want you in me when I come.” Adam licked the tip of his cock against and then smiled up at him. “Your gonna come more than once tonight. At least twice. Maybe even three times. I’m going to totally blow your mind.” As soon as those words were out of his mouth, Adam bent fully forward and took Tommy completely into his throat with one motion. Tommy’s head dropped back onto the pillow and his hands fisted the duvet underneath him. “Fuck, Adam. Jesus Christ! You’re fucking mouth.” Adam bobbed his head up and down, each time his mouth met the base of Tommy’s cock, he would swallow. Tommy knew it was gonna be over too soon, but he still tried to fight off his orgasm. He could feel his balls drawing up tight close to his body and knew that he couldn’t hold it back any long. “Gonna… Cum…” He panted out, trying to warn Adam but all Adam did was raise up a bit so that he was just sucking on the head and tonguing his slit. “FUCK! OH, FUCK! ADAM! HOLY SHIT! ADAM!” Tommy cried out as his orgasm over took him. His cum filled Adam’s mouth as spurt after spurt left his body. He could feel Adam swallow and knowing that Adam was taking part of him into his own body only increased his pleasure. By the time Adam lifted off him, knowing he was way too sensitive, Tommy had collapsed boneless on to the bed, panting. “You, my love, are the most delicious thing I have ever tasted. And the way you screamed my name… You almost made me cum in my pants. I hope to always hear you crying out my name.” Tommy smiled and let out a little laugh. “If you keep doing what you just did, I will lose my voice and won’t be able to scream out your name.” Adam laughed and tickled Tommy’s sides, causing him to burst out laughing and start wiggling around. “Trust me. I will make sure that you scream my name. Just like I will tonight. By the time I’m done with you, my name will be the only word you remember.” Adam moved up and devoured Tommy’s lips, sliding his tongue over his lower lip seeking permission. Tommy immediately opened his mouth to allow Adam in, to search, to toy with his own and taste himself. Tommy slid his hands between their bodies and began to undo Adam’s jeans, desperate to feel skin on skin. Adam chuckled against Tommy’s lips. “Anxious, are we?” Tommy smiled and nodded. “You have no idea. I want you naked right now. I want to feel your skin against mine.” Adam caressed Tommy’s cheek and gave him a small peck. “As you wish.” Adam pushed himself up and got off the bed. He toed off his shoes and then finished undoing his jeans. Tommy watch as Adam slowly pushed down his jeans, revealing not only his lack of underwear but his hard cock, dripping and huge, hanging between his legs. Tommy rolled up to his knees and reached his hand out, wrapping it around Adam’s cock. He slowly moved his hand, pumping, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. Adam’s knees instantly began to buckle and he had to bend forward and brace himself against the bed, almost bent completely in half. “Oh, fuck, Tommy. Your hand. You… You really n-n-need to stop. Gonna cum if… If you don’t.” Tommy slipped under Adam’s bent body, stilled his hand and licked the tip, collecting all the precum on the tip of his tongue, but didn’t swallow it. He carefully sat up and turned Adam’s head, claiming his lips. Both of them moaned into the kiss, savouring the taste of Adam on Tommy’s tongue. “You know what? You taste good, too.” Tommy said with a wink when the kiss ended. Adam let out a laugh and shook his head. “Lay on your stomach.” Adam whispered to Tommy, letting his lips brush over the skin of Tommy’s jaw. Adam’s words went straight to Tommy’s cock. Even though he had only cum moments before, he could feel himself starting to twitch back to life. Adam straightened himself into a standing position and watched Tommy stretch out on his stomach. He couldn’t help but be in awe at how beautiful Tommy was, so perfect. When he didn’t return to the bed right away, Tommy opened his eyes and gave him a shy smile. “Enjoying the view?” Adam smirked and nodded his head. “Very much so.” He stepped over to the night table and took out a bottle of lube and sat it on top. Adam climbed onto the bed and nudged Tommy’s legs apart so that he could kneel between them. Adam ran his hands very lightly up Tommy’s legs and rested one on each ass cheek. “You always say you have no ass, and I tend to agree at times with the way your jeans fit you, but, baby… You have a sexy ass. Fits so perfect in the palms of my hands, the skin so soft and smooth. Simply perfect.” Tommy could feel himself blushing, so he hid his face in the pillows. “You are the cutest thing, TommyJoe. Don’t think I don’t know your blushing right now.” A muffled sound came from the pillow that Adam couldn’t understand, causing him to chuckle. Adam slowly spread his ass cheeks apart and looked at Tommy’s tiny opening. It was so small and tight looking that Adam was beginning to have doubts that he would be able to fit. Sliding his hand slightly, he let the tip of his thumb rub lightly against the puckered skin. He felt the muscles tense at first and then immediately relax. He put a little more pressure and the muscles opened up instantly, like Tommy’s body was just waiting to swallow Adam’s cock. Adam laid himself flat between Tommy’s legs and spread his ass a little bit further apart. Tommy lifted up his head and turned to look at what Adam was doing. “Adam… What…” Adam didn’t answer. He just flicked his tongue out and began to softly tease Tommy’s opening. “Oh, fuck me.” Tommy moaned and he let his head fall back onto the pillow. He fisted the duvet and cried out as Adam began to push the tip of his tongue into Tommy. Adam flattened his tongue and began to lick up and down from the base of Tommy’s spine, down to his balls. Tommy couldn’t keep his hips still nor stop the whimpers coming out of him. Adam licked back down and began tonguing Tommy’s sac, sucking each one of his balls into his mouth, rolling it around and sucking on it. Tommy’s cock was rock hard and leaking. He was already feeling like he was going to explode. As Tommy’s cries got louder, Adam slid his tongue back up to his hole and began to fuck deeply into him. “OH, SHIT!… FUCK!….. OH, FUCK!….. ADAM, FUCK ME!… ADAM!………. MOTHER FUCKER!” Tommy cried out, working his knees under his body so he could spread himself wider. Adam gripped his hips so tight he knew Tommy would be bruised by morning. He worked his tongue in as deeply as he could, giving short, hard, little fucks. It was just enough to bring Tommy to the edge but not enough to actually push him over. Adam moved a hand up to Tommy’s mouth and shoved two fingers in. Tommy sucked on them, coating them with his spit. When Adam thought that they were wet enough, he pulled them out of Tommy’s mouth and brought them down to his hole. He slowly slid one in next to his tongue and began a rhythm of fucking in with his tongue as he pulled the finger back and then retracting his tongue as he thrust his finger back in. After a few thrusts, Adam added the other finger but managed to keep the same pattern going. He curved his fingers slightly, brushing them over Tommy’s prostate with each thrust and pull. Tommy’s body suddenly went tense and he screamed out Adam’s name as he came completely untouched with only two of Adam’s fingers and his tongue buried in his ass. Adam pulled his fingers out but continued to fuck Tommy with his tongue. “T-t-too much.” Tommy whimpered. He carefully crawled up the bed so that he could lie next to Tommy and rolled him onto his side, tucking him close. Tommy straightened his legs and let his weight fall back against Adam’s chest. Adam nuzzled his neck and placed a few light kisses there. “You okay?” Tommy nodded and wrapped his hands around Adam’s arms, holding them tight to his chest. “That was fucking amazing. I can’t believe I came without being touched. Not to mention, getting hard again not even five minutes after cumming. That has never happened before.” Adam chuckled. “Oh, my dearest TommyJoe… Trust me. That is going to be happening a lot more to you. To feel you come undone just from my touch, my tongue… It gives me pleasure that you wouldn’t believe. I could probably get off just from eating that gorgeous ass out or sucking that beautiful cock deep into my throat and never even have to lay a hand on myself. But do you know what I’m going to do right now? I’m going to fuck you so good that your cock will be hard and aching for release again. I’m going to take you to a height that you have never been to before. Get me the lube.” Tommy shook his head. “I think that I’m still a little too sensitive. “ Adam nipped at his neck. “Trust me. “ Tommy rolled himself forward a little bit so that he could reach the lube on the night table. As he rolled back, he put it into Adam’s hand. “Stay on your side, baby.” Adam unwrapped his arms from around Tommy and opened up the lube. “Lift your top leg up, bend it and rest your foot on your other knee.” Tommy turned his head a bit. “Not on my stomach?” Adam caressed his hip. “It will be easier like this for the first time. You’re so tiny and I’m so scared I’m going to hurt you. I want nothing more than to lay you on your back and watch all the emotions play across your face. But that can wait till the next time. I want you as comfortable as possible and to enjoy every second of it.” Tommy rested his hand over Adam’s on his hip and entwined their fingers. “He always wanted me on my stomach or all fours.” Adam placed a few loving kisses on Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m not him. If you don’t enjoy it… I won’t enjoy it. Now, just relax and do what I say.” Tommy nodded and lifted and bent his knee like Adam had told him to do. It felt wrong thinking that Adam was telling him what to do. He knew it was just loving instructions and it relaxed him even more. He knew that, unlike John, Adam would never hurt him. Adam squeezed some lube onto his fingers and rubbed them with his thumb, making sure they were coated and that the lube was warm. “Do you think you’re still stretched enough for me to start out with two?” Adam asked him as he just rubbed his knuckles over his quivering muscles. “Yeah. Please, start with two.” Adam pulled his hand back enough so that he could straighten his fingers. As he pushed them into Tommy, he heard the low moan that Tommy made and felt him push back against his hand. He worked his two fingers in and out slowly as he scissored them, stretching Tommy open. When he slipped a third finger in, Tommy bucked back and cried out, his breath reduced to nothing but ragged gasps. “You like that, baby?” Tommy began to fuck himself on Adam’s fingers, his moans and cries getting louder. “Need you. Please.” He moaned out as he lifted his bent leg into the air and used his arm to hold it up. “Are you sure? Need me to stretch you a bit more?” Tommy shook his head. “I want to feel it. Please.” Adam thrust his fingers two more times before he pulled them out. “Anything for you, baby.” Adam opened the lube and poured some into his hand, stroking his cock, coating it. He wrapped his arm between Tommy’s legs, helping Tommy hold his leg up and resting his hand on his stomach. It was awkward using the arm he was laying on to guide himself into Tommy, but he made it work. Tommy whimpered as he began to enter him, causing Adam to stop. “You okay? Need me to stop?” Tommy used his other hand, rested it on top of Adam’s hand and squeezed it. “No. More.” He whimpered, trying to thrust back and take more of Adam himself. Adam placed soft kisses on his shoulder and neck as he thrust further into him. He wasn’t sure he would fit all the way in, but Tommy’s moans and the way he was squeezing Adam’s hand urged him on. One last hard thrust sent him into Tommy to the hilt. They’re cries matched as the feeling of finally being fully connected coursed through their bodies. “Fuck, TommyJoe….. Your so tight, hot… Fuck, your chocking my cock. Oh, fuck. I never want to leave this moment.” Adam panted out against Tommy’s neck. Tommy rocked his hips back a few times causing them to both moan out. “Christ, TommyJoe. Fuck! Nothing has ever felt this good.” With that said, Adam began to slowly pull out. As he slowly thrust back in, Tommy squeezed his hand. “Harder, Adam. I want and need to feel it for days.” Adam laughed. “Like I said before.. Anything for you.” Adam slowly pulled almost completely out and then snapped his hips forward, loving the sting of skin meeting skin. Tommy cried out and lifted his leg up as close to his shoulder as he could. Adam used his hand on Tommy’s stomach to pull him back tight against him each time he thrust forward. With each thrust, Adam could feel Tommy’s cock getting harder. Tommy’s breath became harsh and panting as his moans filled the air, matching Adam’s. “Fuck, Adam… Harder!” Adam stilled his movements and placed his lips near Tommy’s ear. “You want it harder. Get onto your knees.” Adam pulled out completely and moved to his knees behind Tommy. He wrapped an arm around Tommy’s waist as he lined his cock up with Tommy’s hole. As he pulled him back, he thrust up hard and fully sheathed himself into Tommy. Tommy cried out and his whole body fell back against Adam, his head on Adam’s shoulder. This position allowed Adam to thrust not only harder but deeper. Tommy reached up behind him and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and thrust down each time Adam thrust up. “Oh, fuck, TommyJoe. I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer. Fuck, you feel so good.” Tommy began to tremble, thrusting down hard as he could. “Touch me……. Please, Adam. I need to come……. Oh, fuck me.” Adam used the hand that was around Tommy’s waist to anchor him more firmly against him as he brought his other hand to Tommy’s cock. He gripped it tightly and began to stroke it in time to his thrusts. “Adam! Oh, Adam! I love you. I love you, so fucking much.” Adam’s hearts swelled with those words. “I love you, too, TommyJoe. More than you will ever know.” Adam began to thrust harder and more erratically, stripping Tommy’s cock faster. “Cum for me, TommyJoe. Let me feel you from the inside as you cum. Let me hear it. Coat my hand.” Adam whispered into Tommy’s ear. Adam’s words were just what he needed to be pushed over the edge. Screaming out Adam’s name, Tommy’s cum coated Adam’s hand and dripped onto the bed. Tommy went limp in against Adam, panting. Between the clenching of Tommy’s muscles and the sheer joy of knowing he was able to show Tommy how it really felt to make love, it push Adam over the edge. “I love you, TommyJoe. So much.” Adam whispered as he came, his emotions so strong that he was unable to make anything more vocal than a whisper. Adam placed open mouthed kisses along any skin he could get to, basking in the after glow. After a few minutes, he slipped his softening cock carefully out of Tommy, his cum dripping from his hole. “Lay down for a minute. I’ll be right back.” As Adam help Tommy stretch out on a dry spot of the bed, a small bit of fear began to fill Tommy. Every time after John would fuck him, he would leave him to take a shower and then not come back unless it was to go to sleep. Tommy would clean himself up and then go to sleep without so much as a kiss or hug good night. Tommy gripped Adam’s arm. “You’ll be coming back, right?” Adam brushed Tommy’s sweaty hair away from his face and kissed him deeply. “Just gonna clean up and get something to clean you up with. Then we are going to get this duvet off the bed and then…. I’m going to wrap you up in my arms all night and not let go. I promise.” Tommy gave a small smile and nodded his head. Adam got off the bed and headed into the bedroom. As Tommy listened to the water running, he let himself relax. Adam was nothing like John and would never hurt him or leave him. His heart told him that and he knew trusting his heart was the right thing to do. So lost in thought and the feeling of pleasure still humming through his veins, he didn’t notice that Adam had turned off the water and left the bathroom till Adam placed a hand on his hip, making him jump. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. Let me clean you up.” Tommy relaxed as he felt a warm cloth cleaning him, wiping away all traces of cum and lube. Adam tossed the wash cloth into the hamper by the bathroom door and walked over to the bed. “Think you can stand up so we could get the duvet off?” Adam joked. Tommy laughed and lifted up his arms. “Carry me.” Adam scooped Tommy up in his arms and sat him in the chair that wasn’t too far from the bed. Adam ruffled his hair and placed a kiss on the top of his head. He went over to the bed and pulled the duvet off, folded down the blankets and put the duvet into the hamper. While he was up, he put their clothes into the hamper. “Got a lot of laundry for tomorrow.” Adam said with a frown when he turned around. Tommy stood up from the chair, his legs still a little weak, walked over to Adam. “I’ll help you. Maybe we could have a little fun while it’s on the spin cycle.” He gave Adam a saucy wink. Adam pulled Tommy into his arms and sealed their lips together. Tommy clung to Adam as the kiss deepened. Adam once again scooped Tommy up into his arms, this time bring him to the bed and gently laying him down. Tommy snuggled up as Adam pulled the blankets over him. “You like being able to pick me up, carry me around, move me how you like, don’t you.” Adam paused and looked at him. “Does that bother you?” Tommy rolled over and folded Adam’s side further down and patted it. Adam walked over to his side of the bed and got into the bed. Tommy pulled the covers over Adam the best he could and then let Adam fix them the way he wanted them. Once Adam was settled, Tommy curled up next to him, rested his head on his chest and wrapped his arm tightly around Adam’s waist. “It did when John would manhandle me. But with you… No! I actually love it. Makes me feel safe, protected, but most of all… It makes me feel loved. You can do that to me any time you want. Oh, and while we are at it, the thing we just did….. Please feel free to do that to me any time you want, whenever you want, wherever and however you want. You won’t hear a complaint out of me. Well, unless it’s in public. Then I hope you can be a bit more discreet.” Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy and kissed him on the head. “You don’t have to worry about public. I don’t ever want anyone to see you like that but me.” Tommy lifted his head and their lips met. “Good. I love you.” Tommy snuggled close to Adam’s side and closed his eyes. “I love you, too.“ Adam smiled as he said it. “I was thinking… I want to get some tattoo’s. You know, to cover the scars after everything has healed. I don’t want the reminders anymore.“ Tommy said softly, almost as if it were a thought to himself and not him speaking to Adam. “I know you always talked about getting some. How about we get some together, make new memories?“ Adam hugged Tommy close to him. “I love that idea. Sounds totally perfect.“ Tommy snuggled closer to him and things fell silent between them. Adam’s gentle breathing and the soft thudding of his heart soon had Tommy drifting off to sleep. Adam stayed awake a little longer, replaying the moment when Tommy finally said that he loved him. He knew that it took a lot for him to get to that level of trust to be able to say that. When he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, he let them drift shut. He hugged Tommy closer to his side and fell to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this wasn't the best slash scene but I am new to writing them and not totally comfortable with putting the thoughts down. The images in my head try to help but I am naturally a very shy person.


End file.
